Perspectives in Parenting: Why We Homeschool

Motherhood comes with a host of choices to make about what is best for you, your family, and your child. We at Alamo City Moms Blog have a variety of moms who want to embrace these choices instead of feeling guilty or judged for them! We are continuing our series, Perspectives in Parenting, with a look at education. Five of our contributors will share their experiences of choosing schools for their children.  Don’t miss our other perspectives on public school, private schoolcharter school, and special education[hr]

This fall we begin our 15th year of homeschooling. I used my fingers and toes to figure that out. We’ve done it one year at a time. Is there a gold pencil or something I should be getting? Maybe a nice paperweight? I’d settle for a pedicure.

We began homeschooling in 2001 for a few simple reasons:

1. Better schedule. Our schedule.

Homeschooling has allowed us more family time with everyone, especially Dad. Hubby’s long and inconsistent work schedule meant that his days off consisted of weekdays and one weekend a month. We missed him. We took days off during the week, threw in some schoolwork on the weekends, and called it even.

Homeschooling, Socizlization, Science, Frog Dissection at Home
Our zoology class dissected frogs. In the living room/kitchen area. Isn’t that where it should be done?

2. Cost.

Homeschooling is more affordable than private school. The one my oldest daughter, Sis, attended built a new facility and doubled its tuitionwhen my other daughter, Felicia, would soon be there, too. I’d need to work outside the home using before- and after-school care. With Dad’s work hours, it seemed like we would spend a lot of time running on the hamster wheel, which didn’t appeal to us.

3. More time.

More time for everyone. More time together. More time to be a kid. Sis is a sensitive child, and school and extracurricular activities took their toll on her. Our time together was often spent rushing, rushing, rushing. She was stressed, frazzled, and only 10 years old. Our little time together was fraught with frustration misaligned at one another. I wanted the world to slow down. I wanted to give her activities, academics, and our relationship without the turmoil.

homeschooling, horses
Homeschooling allowed the girls to spend a lot of time with one of their passions: horses.

4. The ability to meet individual learning needs.

When Felicia was seven, I realized she didn’t learn like the majority. She was—and isindisputably intelligent, but pencil, paper, sitting still, and regurgitating were not her thing. Homeschooling let me tailor teaching to her learning styles and abilities.

5. Homeschooling is a very viable option for us.

With homeschoolers in both of our extended families, it wasn’t a foreign concept. We had support.

6. Freedom to travel.

Our families live out of state. Hubs’ time off was erratic. Homeschooling gave us flexibility to travel independently of a school schedule. It was the school schedule.

homeschooling, road trip
Visiting the historic park in Birmingham during a road trip helped my son to understand the struggle of African Americans for Civil Rights.

Those were our reasons in 2001 for homeschooling. They’re still viable in 2015.

I have a master’s degree in education, and am a teacher by training and heart. I’ve taught adjudicated young men, medical students, pregnant women, expectant fathers, and soon-to-be disgruntled siblings. I’ve taught sexuality, childbirth, breastfeeding, CPR, middle school science, and the list goes on. I’ve taught a room of Catholic sisters the correct way to put a condom on a banana.* I eat, sleep, breathe, and teach. So for us, homeschooling makes sense.

*This was during the beginning of the AIDS efforts. These Catholic sisters worked with the Merchant Marines. They wanted to be able to educate the men when they were stateside, to protect their health. They are some of the best women I’ve ever met.

So, now that I’ve explained why we chose to homeschool, let me address the question at the top of everyone’s list, on the tips of their tonguesyou know, The Question: What about socialization?

A LOT of people ask about socialization. When I was a young zealot, I’d snarkily respond, “If I want public school socialization, I’ll drop the kids off at the mall for the weekend.” I’ve mellowed since then. Still, it’s not an issue. Maybe I can better explain why we didn’t homeschool:

Homeschooling, Science, Zoology, Socialization
Checking out the strong beautiful structure of feathers.

1. We didn’t homeschool for religious reasons.

We prefer a balanced approach to history, and homeschooling allows us to not have to worry about things such as news stories detailing the inaccuracies within textbooks in our state.

2. We didn’t homeschool to “protect” our kids from the real world.

Homeschooling let us be there to help our kids filter the real world when they face real-world obstacles. I believe the time we’ve spent together has built a relationship that our kids can use to better navigate the “real world”whatever that is. Parents of other-schooled kids do the same.

3. We didn’t homeschool to isolate our children.

Are you kidding me? I’m gonna share these guys. Trust me, they have/have had fabulous social lives. I should be so lucky. They’re involved and follow their interests. Just like other kids, mine have phones, MySpace, Facebook, laptops, and video games when we feel it’s appropriate. We frequently made their MySpace pages “OurSpace” and monitored our kids’ activities like most parents. If anything, our children may have been exposed to certain subjects before other kids. (Hello, Mom was a sexuality/HIV/AIDS educator and counselor!) For better or worse, I have minimal discussion inhibitions.

homeschooling, socialization, swimming, summer swim leagues
All of our kids spent many seasons competing with their friends in summer swim leagues.

Many things have added to my kids’ socialization. They grew up around people of all ages. They were involved in 4-H, horseback riding, speech class and competition, dance class, high school dances, animal rescue and fostering, church activities, swim team, and the list goes on. With more than 300,000 kids homeschooling in Texas, there’s a lot going on out there.

While writing this post and texting with my older girls about homeschooling, Sis sent me this: “…and I still love how utterly shocked people are when they find out we were homeschooled. It’s like the ultimate party trick.”

I’m choosing to take that text in a good way and ignore the “party” part. We encourage independence. We want our kids to find their voice, speak up, and stand up for themselves in this crazy world. When Sis was 14, she traveled to Europe with a couple of 15- and 16-year-old friends. Felicia traveled away from home as well. If the Batman wants to travel in the near future, we’ll make the best decisions for him.

For us, homeschooling is more of a lifestyle than an educational choice. It’s shaped our lives, decisions, and philosophies. I’ve probably learned just as much—if not more thanmy children. I’ve learned so much about myself along the way as well. In future posts, I’ll share more about homeschooling and our journey. Maybe you’ll find something useful, regardless of where your children learn. I’d love to make the road a little easier for those who may follow, just as others have done for me.

Denise came to SA 21 years ago via Southern Illinois, NYC and Philadelphia. A wife for 25+ years, she’s mom to nursing student, Sis (23); college student, Felicia (20); and 11 yr. old homeschooled Batman. An attachment parenting family, they’ve homeschooled for 13 years. Her MS in education and BS in journalism haven’t really helped with homeschooling. (Except for diagraming sentences. Which is kinda like algebra. Addictive and useless.) A renaissance woman (sounds better than “Jill of all trades mistress* of none,”) she’s been an AIDS/sexuality educator/counselor; doula; lactation consultant; childbirth educator; photographer and writer. She’d like to be more things when she grows up, including children’s author and organized. Living on a work in progress in Helotes, they’re home to horses, rescued/foster dogs, a hedgehog, turtles, bearded dragon, corn snake, and, of course, Red, the neighbor’s longhorn. Life is like a warped Disney movie with a bad episode of tripawd hoarders waiting to happen. The home may be chaotic, funny, and loud -- but, there’s always room for one more. *mistress – 1) as in the feminine form of “master.” 2) not the other one


  1. Great article. The hardest job in the world must be that of a stay at home mom who excels in homeschooling. I love your attitude and want to thank you for raising three good citizens for our community. The “thank you” may be a bit premature, but I bet I’m right.

    • you’re sweet and your words are kind. thank you. so far, so good, i kinda like my kiddos and the people they’re becoming – one in nursing school and one in school trying to decide – but meanwhile working as an EMT while taking classes. 12 year old – has teens ahead of him, but he’s pretty fun to be with. i think being a mom is a full-time and more job no matter where you school or work. i’m so fortunate to have built a great support system, which i hope to write about in future posts. thanks for reading, Kate and leaving your thoughts! they’re always appreciated.

    • we’re kindred spirits, Cait! thanks for reading! I’ve a friend who’s a professor in college. he loves the homeschool students and the way most of them can communicate with teachers and peers alike. if you think of it, surrounding them with peers exactly their age, really isn’t the real world either, ya know? let me know what responses you come up with!

  2. Thanks for doing this. I so often feel like the discourse in all things our children is so opinionated with no room for questions. Everyone wants to think they are doing the “right” thing for their kids, so much so that they put other families and their choices down. Public school is not a socialist wasteland. Private school is not an elitist silo. Charter schools are not for tea party nut jobs. Homeschooled kids aren’t isolated religious freaks. To each his own. Thanks for showing all sides of the story.

    • Thank you, Burgin, for reading and taking the time to share your thoughts. I think many times we are quick to put down others decisions because we feel insecure and we secretly wonder “what if they’re right and i’m wrong.” really, neither of us is right or wrong. we’re all making our way in this crazy world and trying to do what’s best for our families. i’m thankful you were able to really “see” my points. gotta keep it real and support each other!

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