Ah, May. How can you even begin to describe the rat race that is May when you’re a mom? Between the field trips, awards ceremonies, end-of-year parties, STAAR test prep, etc., it seems like every day this month there is another thing that requires extra effort from us moms. It’s fitting that Mother’s Day is wedged in the middle of this chaotic month because without a break to hit the spa, indulge in some solo shopping time, or at least enjoy some French toast in bed, we moms might snap in the middle of the crazy.
We may be mere shadows of the moms we used to be back in August, but that’s OK! School is almost out and summer is near, and we’re all doing our best in this race toward the finish line—even if our best is a C-level effort.
Here are the top 25 ways you know the school year is almost over:
1. The rainbow-colored, diversified tapas selection in a Bento box lunch has now been replaced by foil-wrapped leftover pizza with a child-sized bite in it. Or just snacks—all beige.
2. You stopped meal planning awhile ago, and your dinners now consist of whatever you can throw together in the least amount of time. Hot dogs and Kraft mac ‘n’ cheese with a side of canned veggies that no one will eat, anyone?
3. Gourmet breakfast? Nope! At this point you’re offering up a pickle with a side of mustard, because that’s about all you’ve got in the fridge.
4. You have at least five events—ceremonies, awards, concerts, field trips, etc.—per kid on your calendar.
5. Each child also has 19 projects crammed into the last two weeks of school. Great.
6. The carpool line takes twice as long in the morning because parents are all dropping off kids at the same time: tardy o’clock.
7. Your dropoff procedure now consists of barely slowing down to a stop, pushing your child out the door, and yelling, “Gooooooooo!” from your car window.
8. Speaking of carpool lines, you are astounded that it is May and some people at your child’s school have yet to figure out how the dropoff/pickup line works.
9. Fundraisers have stopped. STAAR enthusiasm and theme weeks, however, have not. You’ve made two trips to Walmart or Target in the past three days for neon/camouflage socks and materials for a STAAR spirit poster.
10. Teacher friends are posting memes like “summer vacation is our reward for surviving May” on Facebook, and they are right.
11. Bedtime never really adjusted to daylight savings. You gave it a solid week and then gave up. Now you’re just hanging in there until summer.
12. You hold your head high at the school crosswalk, wearing last night’s pajamas.
13. Your kids hold their heads high at the school crosswalk, wearing last night’s pajamas.
14. You stopped scribbling your signature on your child’s agenda/folder two weeks ago…and no one has noticed.
15. You forge items on the daily reading log to make it look like your child is putting in that 20 minutes of reading time each night, but in reality you’re eating ice cream while watching YouTube videos together because you are just. so. done.
16. You catch yourself daydreaming about summer vacations and the days when you’ll be able to “sleep in” until 6:45 A.M. instead of 6:00 A.M.
17. School absences are explained with “allergies” and/or “personal,” or just a signature with “he’s all yours again.”
18. You’re a little worried that you used up all of your creativity on Teacher Appreciation Week and won’t have anything cute and unique to offer for end-of-year teacher gifts.
19. Your kids’ backpacks look like they’ve gone through a paper shredder, and you now rely on duct tape since the zippers stopped working about five weeks ago.
20. Nightly baths have been replaced with a jump in the pool each night. Chlorine = soap, right?
21. Your child got a notice for a missing library book that you vaguely remember seeing in October. Better get $20.53 ready.
22. You’re counting down the days until summer and simultaneously excited and scared by how few remain.
23. You know that in just a few weeks, you’ll be ready to start a new countdown: to the beginning of the next school year.
24. The STAAR is the only thing keeping you remotely responsible right now.
25. You walk the halls of your kid’s school with constant RBF, lest you seem too approachable to a PTA chair looking to fill the “room mom coordinator” position for next year.
High five, fist bump, and fingers crossed emojis to you all as we make our way into summer! What else would you add to this list?
