Three of my four kids’ birthdays fall within 30 days of each other, during August and September (aka: back-to-school season). When they were younger I could get away with combining birthday celebrations without much fuss. But as they grew older and we threw birthday parties of varying sizes at various venues, it became more and more challenging to keep the plates spinning, let alone afford birthday party expenses, plus gifts, on top of back-to-school supplies and uniforms. It’s enough to make my head spin just reading it.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was throwing a birthday party at my house just a few days after returning from an epic road/camping trip that I took solo with my kids. On top of cleaning up all of our camping gear, I also had to clean the house. Yeah, I didn’t plan that one out too well. I was still recovering a week later.
Last year I started implementing the birthday date. We’d still get together with close family to do the birthday cake and gifts thing. But instead of a big party with friends, I’d take the birthday child out on a one-on-one date of his/her choosing. As a divorced mama, the time I have with my kiddos is precious, and I rarely have regular time with them individually.
The birthday dates were incredible and are my new favorite. I gave each of the kids a budget and made plans with them leading up to the big day. The first birthday date of the year was with my middle son. He chose Dave and Buster’s, and we had a blast playing all of the arcade games together. I also had tickets for the Fiesta Carnival, and we spent the rest of the date going on the rides. I got to be a kid with my kid, and it became a lasting memory that the two of us will always share.
My youngest daughter chose lunch at McDonald’s (a rare treat at my house), a shopping trip to Target, and a movie. I admittedly fell asleep in the movie for a few, but we spent the entire afternoon laughing, and I could see the joy in her eyes in choosing her own birthday adventure.
My other daughter also chose fast food for dinner and a shopping spree. Again, something that may be common in other households, but not something I usually get to enjoy one-on-one with her. It was fun being able to celebrate the simple girly joy of shopping for dresses without the chaos of other kids whirling around.
My oldest son’s 15-year birthday date took a little more brainstorming, but he finally decided on paintball (and Hop Doddy’s). I did some research, found a place that would be open the day we wanted to go, and off to paintball we went. At one point he declared it the best birthday ever. And it kinda was. Play is less inherent as my kids get older, and connecting with my teenager on the paintball field was nothing less than joy-filled (and sweaty!).
I think I first heard of the idea of birthday dates from a mother of 12. The idea seemed sweet and didn’t appeal to me as a replacement for birthday parties originally. But as my time with my kids has decreased, and they’ve gotten older, this is a new tradition that I treasure. I’m totally reserving the right to move back to parties if it becomes the right season for us again. But I’m going to look forward to planning that time with my kids and counting down the days to when we get to step out of the everyday busyness and into a new memory that only the two of us will share.
