Honoring Motherhood: Empowering Yourself to Ask For What You Want

Picture this: a glass of bubbly with a kiss of orange juice, a cool breeze and a starchy brunch.

That’s certainly the stuff of my dreams – and it’s exactly what I asked for last Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, my husband couldn’t reach the Weather Help Desk so I didn’t get a cool breeze, but I did get to indulge in a strong mimosa and a plate of delicious stuffed French Toast.

What’s the key to achieving happiness like this? Simple: communication!

As Mother’s Day approaches, it’s time for all those who identify as mothers – whether they are moms, stepmoms, adoptive moms, grandmothers, dedicated aunts, or even fur mamas – to reflect on what they truly desire, and communicate those needs with confidence!

As a 33-year-old mother of three, I understand the delicate balance between the joy of motherhood and the importance of self-care. My hope is that all who identify as mothers can end the day feeling heard, seen, and cared for in the way that makes them feel happiest and most appreciated by those they love. 

Moms should feel empowered to ask for what they want on Mother’s Day without fear of disappointment, especially if their partners need a little guidance.

For example, I made sure I let my husband know early on that what I’d most enjoy was a craft made by each child, and a good, starchy breakfast. Following the sage advice from the elders in our families, it’s essential to recognize that our loved ones aren’t mind readers, however unfortunate that may be sometimes. Communicating our desires not only ensures a fulfilling celebration, it serves to strengthen the bond between partners. So, whether it’s a day at the spa, a heartfelt handwritten letter, or simply some quiet time alone, speak up and express your wishes without hesitation. It may not be easy, but it’s far better than feeling disappointed or resentful on the day. 

One common misconception that many mothers face is the guilt associated with wanting “alone time” on Mother’s Day. Society often portrays this day as an opportunity for endless displays of affection and family togetherness. However, it’s crucial to remember that every mother’s needs and preferences are unique. Some may find solace in solitude, enjoying the simple pleasures of a quiet house; while others may crave quality time with their loved ones. There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate Mother’s Day, and it’s perfectly okay to prioritize your own well-being. Personally, all I need is a strong mimosa and something my children have made for me with love, and my day is set! If I can squeeze in a nap, I’d really consider myself a lottery winner. 

I often advise my mom friends to communicate their wants for Mother’s Day with clarity and compassion. Here are my favorite two tips for effective communication:

  1. Set Clear Expectations: Start by reflecting on what you truly desire for Mother’s Day. Once you’ve identified your needs, communicate them openly and honestly with your partner or loved ones. Setting clear expectations ensures that everyone is on the same page, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings or disappointments. 
  2. Use “I” Statements: When expressing your desires, use “I” statements to convey your feelings and preferences without placing blame or judgment. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to what I want,” try saying, “I would love to have some alone time on Mother’s Day to recharge and relax,” or “I’d love to have a small family outing around the city – would you plan that for us?” 

It’s also important to acknowledge that the journey of motherhood is both private and public. While we may cherish intimate moments with our children, we also navigate the challenges and joys of parenthood in the eyes of social media and other social communities. This duality requires us to establish healthy boundaries and maintain open communication with our trusted support circle. Whether it’s seeking advice from fellow parents/caregivers, attending counseling sessions, or engaging in self-care activities, remember that you’re not alone on this journey. By the same token, don’t let anyone else’s experience – shared publicly so social media – diminish your enjoyment of what is going on in your life, on your day.

Mother’s Day is a time to honor and celebrate the incredible women who nurture and support their families. By embracing confidence and communicating our needs with clarity and compassion, we can ensure that Mother’s Day is a truly special and meaningful occasion. So, don’t be afraid to ask for what you want, prioritize self-care, and cherish the moments that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Happy Mother’s Day!