We’ve spent a lot of time in our house discussing fears. My kids have inherited anxiety from a long line of anxious people… sometimes it is the little things, but we have some biggies too.
One of my boys struggles with the school gym. He has been working on being in such a giant space with high open ceilings, as well as the vibrations in the floor. He has made a lot of progress. He’s narrowed in on the vibrations in the floor from sound and movement, and is talking with Coach about solutions that work in her space. His brother has developed a fear of the master bathroom, thanks to random YouTube videos showing scary things coming out of toilets!
All that to say, we discuss our fears a lot.
How do we deal with the unknown? How do we get our brains to stop and be rational?
I am at the uncomfortable point in adulthood now where I have to put my money where my mouth is, and go outside of my own comfort zones to show my boys that it’s ok to be scared. Sometimes, I have to put on my big-girl pants and make those phone calls, go to that meeting, and now…. go camping.
Last year, after some persuasion on their part we joined the Cub Scouts.
How on Earth did I get myself wrapped up in all of this? First came the mention of leadership training then, shortly after, came camping. The last time I was in a sleeping bag was over 20 years ago in Ecology class in college. Before that was cabin camping with Girl Scouts in 5th grade. Camping is not in my repertoire.
I had to remind myself that I wouldn’t be alone. There are plenty of experienced folks out there, but still, my anxiety grew. I managed to put off thinking about it until the Amazon orders started coming in with all the fun camping gear. I may not be a camper, but I am a good shopper. I also love good gadgets.
In the days leading up to the leadership trip, I was definitely looking forward to the program, but not the camping… I worried if I would be able to sleep. If I didn’t, how would I manage? Would I remember everything I had been packing? Would I make it to the campgrounds safely that first early morning? Would my husband be able to get the boys to school on time? Would I be able to set up everything? My list of worries seemed to go on and on.
All the time, I’m trying my best to be a good example to my kids and face these fears.
In the end, the first 3 days gave me an incredible experience, and I am grateful I was brave enough to start. I returned two weeks later for the completion of the training excited to see my new friends and make more memories.
Going out and doing the damn thing was hard for me, but gave my son the confidence to go on the Pack campout. If Mom can sleep in a tent, he could too! He spent the beginning of the night telling me he was scared, but he woke up the next morning telling me he had one of the best sleeps of his life.
I’m proud of us for doing the things we didn’t know we could do.
