Is it a gas station? A convenience store? A restaurant? It’s hard to label exactly what Buc-ee’s is, but I can tell you that I’m unapologetically obsessed with it. Why, you ask? Let’s indulge in an imaginary road trip to the New Braunfels Buc-ee’s to find out.
You’re cruising up I-35 in your mom mobile, excitedly thinking about all things beaver. All of a sudden there’s a hilarious beaver billboard cheering you on. Some favorites I’ve seen in the past are “Risk It for the Brisket” and “Restrooms So Clean You Can See Yourself.” Upon arrival you are greeted by Buc-ee the Beaver’s goofy grin and no less than 60 gas pumps. It may be busy, but I’ve never had to wait for a pump. Or a parking spot afterward.
Head inside, and one or more smiling employees welcome you. It’s tempting to dive right into the merchandise or food, but your toddler probably has to pee. Now, it really must be seen to be believed, but I will attempt to describe the miracle that is the Buc-ee’s bathroom. The stalls have red and green lights above them to indicate when they are in use and when they are available (super handy for kids, or moms, about to wet themselves). I know that you’ve used a lot of bathrooms in your lifetime: airport bathrooms, gas station bathrooms, public school bathrooms, Grandma’s bathroom, etc. But Buc-ee’s is the cleanest. No contest. I think they have little bathroom beaver fairies who flit around making each stall tidy. It’s the only plausible explanation.
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Once everyone’s bladders are happy, you can start planning how to fill your belly. And lemme tell ya, you have options! Normal convenience stores have shelves housing their items. Buc-ee’s has walls: walls of drinks, walls of jerky, and walls of candy (that would make Willy Wonka proud). Few things bring a smile to my face the way an ice cold Diet Dr. Pepper in a foam Buc-ee’s cup does. Except for maybe a warm Buc-ee’s ham and cheese kolache. In fact, the bakery has several types of kolaches, cinnamon rolls, pastries, and muffins, all of which are huge because…Texas. I’ve also spent more time than I should sampling flavors at the fudge kiosk—everything from Oreo cookie fudge to s’mores fudge. Nearby there are several touch screens for ordering sandwiches, burritos, burgers, and BBQ. And we can’t forget Beaver Nuggets, an exclusive Buc-ee’s product comprising of corn puffs, caramel coating, and that special Beaver touch. In fact there are all kinds of Buc-ee-themed edibles for purchase.
At this point, you’ve been so wooed by the sparkling restrooms and delectable dining, that you’re desperately seeking some Beaver swag to proclaim your Buc-ee’s love to the world. Head over to the retail section and grab yourself a shirt or a hat or both. You can even get a family set of Beaver PJs. In the event that you’re craving non-beaver apparel, check out the vast collection of everyday wear. It is cute, it is overpriced, and yet it will still tempt you. I gave in and bought a freaking adorable headband from Buc-ee’s awhile ago, and every single time I wear it, people ask where it’s from.
Don’t forget to visit the home decor section before leaving! That way you can always have a piece of Buc-ee’s with you. For reals, they have pretty things, though. Does it get better than distressed wooden signs with heartfelt quotes painted on them? I’m just waiting for JoAnna to introduce her exclusive Buc-ee’s line. (And to be my best friend, but what else is new?!)
After a swift and pleasant checkout experience, you slowly exit Buc-ee’s, your bags full of Beaver Nuggets and heart full of memories. Last but not least, don’t forget to grab a selfie with the Buc-ee statue so you can savor the memory, because #BuceeIsMyBFF, y’all.
