Birthdays. We know of their arrival well in advance and have zero excuses to procrastinate, but they sneak up on us when we least expect them, as if to remind us of our shortcomings in planning for the big day. Despite the calendar countdowns, daily verbal reminders, and age-old “is it my birthday yet?” question, something as simple as a birthday party has the potential to make a mama’s heart race with varying emotions.
With the New Year fresh at our backs, I find this season invigorating and renewing. Many are looking over ways to trim back expenses while others find themselves maximizing family time. Personally, I use the newness of the year to set goals for myself and my family, relocate those stray pieces of hay from the Christmas manger, make a few to-do lists for the month, and write reminders for small-ticket items that would otherwise be lost in the post-Christmas, pre-Spring Break black hole that seems to take up residence in my house. One of those just so happens to fall under the category of birthday parties and all. the. details. I realize most of the frustration/procrastination/detail consuming is, for the most part, self inflicted; however, I tell myself that this will be the year I take it easy, find an appropriate party venue, and in my terms, roll with it.
I have to chuckle at myself this time of year with this particular endeavor. My children have fall birthdays. Not January. Not February. Heck, I don’t even have the excuse of Spring Break babies. I have a solid eight to 10 to brainstorm, plan, confer with small humans about said plan, reserve party spots, and order all the things from Amazon for whatever theme my seven- and four-year-old feel like honoring at their parties. I’ve even transitioned into the world of electronic invitations because the old-school snail mail kind ended up living in backpacks for months or accidentally joining their comrades of finger paintings in the recycling bin. This element of birthday parties was hard for me. Selecting and addressing paper invitations brings me joy and delight. However, the more I utilize the electronic version, the more I am able to see and experience its advantages. From the receiving end, I appreciate the ease and the ability to respond immediately through the invitation itself, and knowing I will be reminded via text and/or email is an added bonus for a reminder-oriented mom like myself. The handy dandy map that seems to spearhead any incoming questions regarding the party’s location benefits the party goer and the hostess, along with a comment section for posting any updates regarding the party or your attendance status. If, by chance, I have a spare minute that finds me extremely motivated to jump ahead on my birthday to-do list, I can choose the format of the invitation and edit it throughout the year as details unfold. Yes, I realize I sound as if I am brand new to technology, but the ability to start something and adjust as I go along is priceless. Especially when you have children that change their minds about every four or five minutes.
As San Antonio moms, we rarely have to take the weather into consideration when planning parties. Other than the occasional thunderstorm that we welcome with open arms and burnt grass, and the avoidance of an outdoor party at 3:00 P.M. in the middle of August, options for a memorable birthday bash are endless! Whether you identify as a full-on Pinterest mom or get by with a few goodies from Oriental Trading, Amazon, and the last-minute run to HEB for balloons, listed below are a few tips to keep in mind when celebrating the day you became a mom for the first or fifth time (kids included).
Age
I know it sounds silly to keep the approaching age of your precious angel(s) in mind, but some venues are far beyond their abilities. By the same note, there are a few spots that your children may have outgrown, despite your love for that place. Many gymnastics groups offer birthday parties that include a set time for private use of the center and party room, but that may not sound like an ideal spot for an eight-year-old to celebrate with all his/her friends.
This past fall, we held my daughter’s seventh celebration at the local roller skating rink. In all honesty, I was very hesitant about this choice for two reasons: (1) I envisioned 20 six- and seven-year-olds who cannot skate crashing into one another and knocking their teeth loose; and (2) my daughter had only one session of rollerskating under her belt. One. Uno. That was it. Yet she had all the grand plans to host a party at rink that “she loves so much.” Perhaps her new love of rollerskating could be contributed to the music tailored just to her, the on-rink games that included all attendees, and the shirt signed by all her guests. Needless to say, the party was a blast, all teeth were left intact, and we obtained a few passes for a return visit to obviously support her newest passion.
Even though the party was a hit for a seven-year-old and her four-year-old brother had no choice but to grin and bear it, this venue would not be ideal for his next birthday (much to his delight, actually). As a child of rollerskating birthday parties myself, I can see a party like this staying as a favorite well into the pre-teen years.
Price/Number of Guests
Establishing a budget for each child’s party is a solid way to start the planning process. Think of it as a proverbial roadmap that will guide you and eliminate choices along the way. I believe that if you design a party around a set number, you will be less likely to go overboard and left with party favors that you really don’t want in your house. Maybe you are thinking, Budget smudget, and for whatever reason don’t need to watch your costs. Well, for one thing, rock on. Second, perhaps use a budget as an outline and way to keep track of the party by seeing it in a different light: with numbers.
Once you have a price in mind, design your guest list accordingly. For example, a venue may charge per guest or have a set number in their party package and require a deposit. Be mindful of the fact that weekday rentals of venues are usually cheaper than a weekend party, and in some cases, renting out the location may work in the favor of your numbers (both price and guest).
Your Anxiety Level
If the thought of vision boards, Pinterest party favors, and color-coded RSVPs sends you running for a paper bag, don’t put yourself through it. It’s not worth it. Repeat after me: It’s not worth it. Your child wants a day with family and friends and a cake that was baked solely for the purpose of his/her birthday. They don’t want a mama who is too busy stressing over each mistake or perfect placement of cake pops. You owe it to yourself to enjoy that cake smash or that moment when your child reads the words “Happy Birthday <insert name here>” and smiles the biggest smile because there is nowhere else he/she would rather be.
Go ahead and log off those sites that make you sweat because you think your four burlap banners are not enough and you need just. one. more. Grab a glass of wine and leaf through the pages of their baby books. Let yourself go back to the day when you saw the perfect nose, feet, and eyes of that babe whom you knew long before he/she arrived. If possible, look through pictures of your childhood parties and relish in the “good ol’ days” of at-home gatherings in your honor. Laugh at the hairstyle choices of your grandmother; notice the wallpaper of your childhood home; pay careful attention to who was around you as you sported a grin from ear to ear. Chances are, you will feel refreshed and ready to tackle the planning, along with feeling inspired to call your mom and ask her what she was thinking with your outfit choices from 1989–1992.
At the end of the day, month, and even year, the party venue, the number of guests, the organic rating of the food, and a million other details will fade away. You will be left with the memories of ringing in another year with your child, glitter left behind from that arts and crafts table you just had to have (God bless), and the hope for your kiddo to one day look back and smile with the heartwarming party you provided. And if you are lucky, a call to question your clothing style from 2019.
