She was granted 50 honorary degrees.
She had a literary career that spanned more than five decades.
She published seven autobiographies.
And yet, she once said: “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”
She had imposter syndrome.
Her name? Maya Angelou.
Women can literally do anything. The power that we possess is immeasurable, and we are able to use it in a multitude of ways – some of which we may not even be able to comprehend. So why is it that self-doubt can creep in at the most inconvenient of times? How are even the highly successful not immune to these feelings?
Let’s start with defining Imposter Syndrome. According to Psychology Today, Imposter Syndrome is the belief that one’s successes are not deserved and that one has not achieved them in legitimate ways that are directly tied to the effort or skill required. This belief is primarily experienced by women, generally those who are highly accomplished, or by women of color. Why?
This system of belief begins for many in childhood. Get ready to join me as I lay on a velvet couch while my thoughts are being fervently written down on a clipboard – but bear with me. I promise the cause is not my mother, nor was it my interest in 90s grunge.
The focus on academic excellence early on in childhood sets children up to value their worth based on their performance, more specifically their ability to excel and achieve. You’d be hard-pressed to find a parent figure who doesn’t want their child to succeed in some capacity, so how exactly do we navigate those waters without setting up a future therapy fund? That’s a loaded question for another article, but rest assured that there are ways to assign healthy value to, and holistically navigate, the goals that we set for our children.
For those of us who hold the imposter syndrome belief – it is possible to heal and hold space for self-acceptance. No, we don’t have to Eat, Pray, Love our way through it… although I do have an affinity for Sandra Bullock and Italian food, so that might work for me in some capacity.
We have to begin with what we place our self-worth in. Are we defined by our accomplishments? Our career? Our luxuries? Ask yourself what gets you up in the morning, and no – you can’t say your hungry toddler or snoring partner.
This work won’t always be easy, but once you have an idea of what you place your self-worth in, use that as a jumping off point for examining how you accomplish things according to that value.
Personally, I placed a lot of self-worth in my work, my career, and my accomplishments. It seems impossible not to do, especially if you are a Type-A individual, but I promise you it can be done. When I was unexpectedly laid off from the career of my dreams, I was forced to confront the ugly truth that my self-worth was completely tied to my career and my academic accomplishments. I really didn’t know who I was, and that forced me to grapple with the idea of being ok not being ok. I had to remember the things outside of my work that brought me authentic joy and inspiration – and remember that the journey has been fun, too.
Once you’ve examined how you accomplish things according to that value – erase it. Yep. Write it down and erase it. You have the ability to literally re-write the things that aren’t performance driven that you will choose to place your self-worth within. Write down at least three things and pin it somewhere you will see often. Each time you read them, remind yourself that the value assigned to those words (and decisions) comes from you. You wield the power! You lead the change!
A key to helping address imposter syndrome is believing that you are more than your accomplishments. Have you ever noticed how a first encounter with a stranger so often begins with “So, what do you do for work?” Well, we have the power to change that and allow others to see us for more than our career, our work, and our certifications.
Maya Angelou famously said: “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”
Join me in this revolution against Imposter Syndrome by assigning value to the very person who encompasses your core – you.
