You are a mess. I am a mess. Bless our hearts, but we are all hot freaking messes.
As New Year’s Eve approaches, we often examine the hottest, messiest parts of our lives and vow to change them in extreme makeover proportions. Which is amusing because you and I both know that after the gym is packed for the first half of January, we will throw away the kale and curl up with some Blue Bell as we muscle through a Netflix marathon. The truth is that even in the fantasy realm where we all keep our New Year’s resolutions, we will still be hot messes. Maybe skinnier ones, though.
So why try? Why eat healthy and exercise? Why put our creative juices and professional prowess out into the world? Why invest in our relationships? If we are going to remain messy, imperfect people no matter what we do, what is the point?
Simple: It’s the best. Not smooth or easy or constantly happy. Trying to be our best selves is better than all of that, even when it gets messy. The problem is that we often mistake imperfect effort for failure. Our house is untidy, our hair is unfixed, and our children are unruly, so clearly we did something wrong. I would argue that sometimes those are the exact indicators of doing things right.
I know, I can hear your opposing thoughts. But I really am a hot mess. The floor is covered with piles of laundry. I haven’t washed my hair for a week. My tiny humans are scarfing down easy mac and hot dogs for dinner while wearing clothes they pulled out of said laundry piles. Say what you want, but no one is pinning a snapshot of my life on Pinterest. Well, maybe they should! Because perhaps you put playtime with your kids before doing the laundry or helping a friend before washing your hair. If that’s the case, then I am proud of your hot mess. In fact, we should all be that kind of hot mess all the time and spread our hot messy ways until the world is its own hot happy mess too.
So instead of making 2019 the year we lose weight or have a clean house, let’s make it the year we strive for our best, hot messiest selves. Let’s make this year our biggest mess yet. “How?” you ask. Here are some tools that help me focus on the most essential and most meaningful aspects of my life in the midst of my hot mess:
Using a planner. Call me old school, but something about a darling planner cover with crisp blank pages inside makes me flat-out giddy. My planner keeps me organized and honest. Actually writing down ideas, goals, and schedules makes it official enough to hold myself accountable. During 2018 I used a Day Designer spiral planner. I love the monthly calendar overview and the full-page daily view. The only change I’d make is more blank lined pages for notes and journaling. There are TONS of great planner options out there. Let me know if you have a favorite!
Hosting a weekly planning party. Monday has become my “prep” day, full of calendars, grocery lists, phone calls, and laundry. I try to avoid commitments outside of the house and use the time at home to set my calendar as well as my intentions for the week. It sounds l-a-m-e, but the organization freak in me loves Mondays. If you aren’t the same brand of freak that I am, at least know that pausing to set up the foundation for your week allows you to focus more fully on passion projects in the remaining time. Maybe you don’t have or want a whole day to plan. One morning or one hour will do the trick. Whatever the length, grab your favorite beverage and let the planning party begin.
Setting meaningful goals. It seems like we are all trying to eat better and exercise more. Why? Before all the Beach Body coaches and Crossfit queens attack, please know that I love fitness. I encourage fitness. Fitness is my friend. I just find a lot of value in questioning my actions and what is driving them. (For a fun digression, replace the word “fitness” with “tacos” in the last three sentences.) For example, what if my physical fitness is not the most important thing in my life right now? What if my mental health needs more attention? Or my social health? As we consider New Year’s resolutions, let’s look at what is going on inside of us rather than what we can see on the outside.
Eliminating excess. If it isn’t essential it’s probably distracting us from what is. This applies to clothes, schedules, clutter, work, chores, decisions—everything. Let’s de-own and decompress, my friends. How would we use our brain power if we didn’t have to use it planning outfits, cleaning out closets, and figuring out how to be in three places at once every Saturday morning? It’s true that with kids we need stuff and things can get busy. However, I am confident that we can all find something non-essential to eliminate from our lives.
Thinking about your thoughts. You could master all of these tips and still decide that your year is miserable, if your thoughts go that way. On the other hand, you could fall into a sinkhole, spend all of 2019 there, and determine it to be your best year yet. So what are you thinking these days? Do you know? Are your thoughts helping or hurting you?
Happy New Year, my hot messy friend! You and 2019 look good together.
