One winter day in 2003, my friend Chrissy and I sat outside Starbucks on our college campus.
“Kristin,” she said, “did you know that some women get Brazilian waxes? They pay someone to wax the hair in their butt-cracks.”
“No,” I said, “that can’t possibly be true.”
“I swear!” she exclaimed. “Some women who pay other women to wax their butt-cracks. Who would ever do that?!”
Fast forward 10 years…
I was naked from the waist down, on all fours with my butt in the air while a very kind, middle-aged woman poured hot wax on it. “You’re lucky,” she said. “You don’t have a hairy butt-crack.” For what was at least the 752nd time that day, I wondered how I got there.
If you’re like I was, you’ve probably wondered a bit about the naughty redheaded step-child of the waxing industry: the Brazilian. Who are these women who wax their lady-bits? Do they really wax everything?! Why would someone do such a thing? How badly does it hurt? How awkward is it? When Alamo City Moms Blog advertising partner Waxing the City asked one of us contributors to come get a Brazilian, I eagerly volunteered to be the guinea pig so I could share the experience with you fine folks. I’m going to keep it real and tell you everything you need to know about getting a Brazilian Wax.
Full disclosure: This is not my first rodeo. I got my first Brazilian as an anniversary gift to my husband three years ago and have been getting them semi-regularly ever since. I may not be a Brazilian virgin, but I can remember all the questions I had, and I can definitely tell you why you should consider getting one at Waxing the City.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
Who are these women who wax their lady-bits?
My cerologist (waxing specialist), Andrea, informed me that ladies of all ages and stages come to Waxing the City for Brazilians. From women giving their partner’s Valentine’s gifts to pregnant women who can no longer see their nether-regions to older women looking to get their sexy back, lots of ladies come in to get waxed. Including 30-something mothers of two who wear yoga pants but don’t actually do yoga. Just sayin’.
Do they really wax everything?!
Well, I suppose that everyone likes a different style. When I walked into my room, Andrea asked me if I wanted to leave a “landing strip” or “remove the whole airport.” After I finished laughing, I went with “remove the whole airport.” Typically in a Brazilian, all of the pubic hair is removed, including that from the mons pubis, the inner and outer labia, and the butt-crack. But it’s your body and your wax, so you can ask for whatever you want.
Why would someone do such a thing?
I can only speak from my experience. To be honest, parenting is hard on a marriage. I spent nine months trying to get pregnant with the first kid, then nine months actually pregnant, and then repeated the process a year later. Then I spent the next year in the fog that comes from caring for a two-year-old and a newborn, with a husband who travels for work and an autoimmune disease that chose to flare up at the least convenient time ever. I put my marriage on the back-burner for a long time and decided it was time to pay attention to it again. And also? For sex. I wanted to have good sex again. Removing all your pubic hair is a good way to spice things up.
How badly does it hurt?
I’d say it’s definitely closer to stepped-on-a-Lego than recovering from childbirth. Although everyone’s pain threshold is different, Waxing the City’s staff does everything it can to minimize pain. The cerologists use a special blue wax containing rosin that makes the hair removal much easier. They also remove small sections of hair at a time, which is less painful than removing large areas. Andrea suggested taking an Advil beforehand to really cut down on the pain, but I didn’t feel like I needed it.
How awkward is it?
The awkwardness of the Brazilian depends on the esthetician/cerologist. I have had some super-duper awkward experiences in the past, including one waxer commenting on how hairy my butt was (not very, according to her), one accidentally dripping hot wax onto my clitoris (a part I would like not to burn again), and one who had back problems and had to raise the table until her head was pretty much in my crotch. Waxing the City was not awkward at all. Andrea applied the wax in small sections on the right side of my pubic area, allowed it to dry, and then quickly pulled it off. She repeated the process on the left side.
In my opinion, by far the most awkward part of the Brazilian is the waxing of the butt-crack. I have had several awkward positions: the aforementioned naked child’s pose, lying on my side while holding up one butt-cheek, and putting my legs in the air while lying on my back. Waxing the City allowed me to just lie normally on my stomach. It was honestly the least awkward experience I’ve had while getting a Brazilian—and that saying a lot, because I’m an extremely awkward person.
Look, I’m not going to tell you what to do with your pubic hair. But if you’re curious about the Brazilian, check out Waxing the City. And don’t forget that new clients receive 50% off their first service!
OMG! You are the best! Can we have a glass of wine together because I bet it would be so fun! I have had all of these questions and so appreciate your candid answers! I could never do this (wrote about waxing) because my MIL and Mom read every single link I post online!
Thanks so much Lindsay!
Well done, Kristin. Thank you for answering the questions so many of us want to ask!
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