There I am, driving up 281, when I see the red glowing circle in the distance. It’s like a beacon in the night… yet it’s only ten o’clock in the morning. At first, it blends in with all of the other lights and signs on the highway. But then I get closer. My subconscious starts to whisper at me…target...
What? What’s that? Ignore it. Ignore it. Ignore it.
Now it’s closer. Target…
I can see it shining bright as it approaches, that bright red circle in a circle, so hard to blot out of my vision. TARGET!
“Well, Bitters is my exit anyway. I am getting off here so I might as well just drive by. And I did need some toilet paper,” I tell myself.
Before I know it, my car has gone into autopilot. A front row spot magically opens up. I peel my children out of the car and trek through the 105 degree heat. The doors open automatically as if they were expecting me and the soothing air-conditioning begins wafting through my hair and enveloping my body. And then the smell hits me. You know the smell – the one that is so undeniably Target. No other store smells quite like it. It’s the mixture of plastic, fluorescent lights and that odd concession stand that’s always to the left of the front door. (Does anyone ever even shop at that concession stand?) I find myself with a cart in hand and my children conveniently loaded in.
“You only need toilet paper,” I remind myself as my eyes glance over to the dollar bin filled with junk. Yes, junk, that somehow keeps finding it’s way into my basket.
“But come on, Earth Day is approaching and I could just make the kids an Earth Day Basket with these plastic sand buckets, flower shovels, Sponge Bob puzzles and glitter pencils.”
“Oh, but look – they’ve gotten their new handbags in… and they are only twenty dollars! Oh, they look just like that cute Tori bag I saw my friend with the other day.”
Next thing I know, I’m lost in a sea of Mossimo, Merona and Xhilaration, my cart filling up with rapid speed. I turn around and there they are – C9 by Champion yoga pants and new neon colored work out tops, a.k.a. my uniform. I don’t know what’s come over me. I keep walking, cart securely in hand, and I’m assaulted by the children’s section – Cherokee dresses, Circo t-shirts, OshKosh jumpers and Carter’s Layettes. I can’t handle the cuteness and the ridiculously low prices. Somewhere in there, I black out….
When I come to, I’m standing in the leggings section with a pair of Suddenly Skinny! tights in my hands. I realize I’ve ripped open a bag of Archer Farms Traditional Homestyle Kettle-Cooked Potato Chips which my children are now devouring just to hold them at bay so Mommy can have five more minutes of shopping bliss. Somewhere in that span of missing time, I realize I’ve hit the home section and the make-up section as evidenced by the Smith & Hawken decorative pieces and Sonia Kashuk eye shadows gracing my cart. And the shoes. Oh the shoes! I really should put some of these shoes back but when in the heck did they start selling Sam & Libby?
“Check-out,” I tell myself. “You must check out.” I beeline for the checkout line, grabbing a pair of turquoise Wayfarer sunglasses and a Feed for Target necklace on my way. The total rings up and I stare in utter disbelief. How did a three digit number get up there? Okay, okay. I’ll bring some of this stuff back tomorrow.
As I emerge from the store, I realize the sun has gone down. It is way past bedtime for the kids. Crap, how long was I in there? I pull in the driveway of my house, only to discover that I’ve beaten my husband home – plenty of time to hide the evidence and make that Nate Berkus throw pillow look like it’s always been on the couch. I’m utterly exhausted but I know I will sleep soundly beneath my new Fieldcrest Luxury 450 Thread Count Sheet Set. As I drift off to sleep I realize I never did put that toilet paper in my basket.
***I was in no way compensated by Target for this post – I really am just THAT obsessed with the store.