Mother’s Day is a holiday that we moms hold in such high regard: the day when we are finally given our due respect and honor as the HBIC of our esteemed homes. Except in actuality, it means that moms without spouses are left feeling less than appreciated because there is no other adult to usher the offspring to produce a flower in the shape of a hand or cook burned pancakes. Or moms with spouses are instead given the gift of “more time with their children” which is a gift only a man could think of (sidebar: I’m sure women married to (or parenting with) other women have amazing Mother’s Day celebrations). So when panning the list of September holidays, I was thrilled to discover there was indeed a holiday worth claiming the highest honor: National Lazy Mom’s Day (technically September 4, but in my house, celebrated every day).
Now, I have seen time and time again how women are able to get s**t done without so much as chipping a nail on a daily basis. We pride ourselves on being workhorses who are able to do anything from running a house, to running a business, to running a marathon. But I propose that we all take a day to celebrate doing absolutely freaking nothing. Here are my suggestions for your National Lazy Mom’s Day celebration.
1. Don’t cook.
What’s that kids, you’re hungry? Awesome, dinner is called cereal and if you’re feeling fancy have milk in it. Two food groups, bam.
2. Don’t clean.
Ignore the empty cereal boxes and milk cartons that are surely on the counter by now. Just move the clothes off the couch to create a little you-sized hole. Also, make sure to dig out the remote. Which leads me to…
3. Watch whatever your lazy heart desires.
Grab that remote you just unearthed. Have you seen Selling Sunset yet? No? Well sit back and buckle up, because you’re in for 3 seasons of mind-numbing entertainment. Be prepared to have to stop supporting Kevin from This Is Us afterward though.
I feel like it would be un-womanly of me to not suggest you go get a pedicure or something. But that would require you to get dressed and drive somewhere and that’s not in the spirit of Lazy Mom’s Day. Instead, may I suggest you run yourself a bath and bring your device with you to finish Selling Sunset.
5. Order takeout.
The lazy mom can’t be bothered to cook a real meal, or even drive to pick something up. Instead, grab that Door Dash app and get to clicking. Pro tip: if you click “leave at door” you can let one of your kids get it for you.
6. Go to bed super early.
Let your spouse put the baby to bed (he still owes you from that Mother’s Day gift anyway), or relinquish control of the remote to the kids for an hour so you can sneak into bed. There is no better feeling than waking up in the morning knowing you’ve gotten more sleep than in the last 365 days combined.
Moms, you’re a superhero every day who deserves a weekly lazy day. Take advantage of the purest of national holidays and revel in your laziness!