Learning to Let Go

Learning to let go {A Mothers thoughts on letting go as her child grows}

The clouds get dark and rain begins to fall. A thunderstorm rumbles away and I’m in tears. It’s not because I’m afraid of thunder, it is because it is the first time I am not with my son during a thunderstorm.

I find myself worrying the whole time during the short storm.  When it is time to go pick my munchkin up from school and I finally see him, I ask him if he heard the storm.  He says yes, like it was nothing. He’s okay. Yes, he’s okay and he’s happy and excited with all of the puddles now donning the soaked ground.  Meanwhile, I was a mess inside worried about him. Worried about things like, what if the electricity went out at school? What if the thunder was too loud and it scared him?  I felt silly, but it was this nervous feeling I had.

No matter how much my son grows, I don’t think it is going to get better. I am a worrier and I have a big problem letting go.

Because of my sons free nature and how easy-going and friendly he is, people would assume that he is more liberated and has developed that attitude because of experiences he has had. The truth is, however, that he is so outgoing and friendly to everyone because I have already tried to be around him to make him feel safe so he doesn’t have many fears. While this sounds good and bad, let me tell you that it is a bit of both.

I worry that he will grow up too sheltered or if I ever give him any real freedom, he will freak out. What if when he’s older he doesn’t know how to be a grown up? I realize that my fears could become his fears.

Being a parent is a series of learning by mistakes and then making some more. It always feels like I am doing something wrong, but when I see my happy son enjoying life, I know I must be doing something right. I remind myself that he is five years old.  He helps me do laundry.  He loves cooking and helping measure out things and adding ingredients to what were going to eat. He loves to sweep the house and helps me recycle and throw out the trash. He cares for our pets and he cares for our world. He is a beautiful individual both inside and out and he is learning things that will prepare him when he is older.

So why am I wasting my life with fears?

Instead of living in fear over everything to do with my munchkin, I should be enjoying his childhood with him. Living in the moment and cherishing each day as it comes. Will I sometimes still be living in fear? Probably. He is my one and only child and he is magical to me, but I will try and cut back and be more calm and not let the fears overtake me as much. I will work on letting go a little more each day, but not too much that he ever feels alone.[hr]

Do you have problems letting go? How do you deal with your child growing each day and giving him the space to be free while also keeping him safe. I would love any suggestions or tips that worked with you.

Alvina is a born and raised San Antonio mom. She has a 4 year old boy who is her world and is an animal lover with a dog and cats at home. She loves to craft, thrift, cook and explore her city with her munchkin. You will normally spot her with more than one camera at a time because she is in love with photography! She blogs about San Antonio life, events, parenting, crafts and more on her blog There’s Magic Out There. She also makes kids crafts & activities over at Gummy Lump.com. She is obsessed with pinterest and you can also find her on twitter. Stop by and say hi!

6 COMMENTS

  1. I worried for the first 15 months of C life. Someone shared a heartbreaking story with me about a loss of a child and I stopped worrying and starting enjoying the little things with our guy. They grow up so fast and before we know it, we won’t have them at home to fret over.

  2. Oh Alvina – I love this. And yes, I struggle with Letting Go, but less and less. I think age and lack of time and the busyness we all struggle with allows me to begin letting go of more and more! Thanks for sharing your awesome story. XO, Katie

  3. My oldest son has always been very independent. He’s 17 so he’ll be leaving the nest in the next few years (he says next year LOL) and as much as it’s gonna hurt, I am gonna have to let him try things on his own. But he’s my kiddo, so he’ll always have a place to come back to. That goes for my other 2 kids as well. They are 13 and 8 so they still have a few years to go.

  4. I’m a new mom with a 9-month-old daughter. Being the oldest of 10 kids, having worked in preschool, kids ministries at church, and being a teacher, I thought I would fall seamlessly into the role of motherhood. I had so much experience, right? Ha! I’ve been surprised at how much fear is interwoven into parenthood. I’m much calmer now than when she was a newborn, but letting go of fears is still a daily battle. Hopefully I’ll continue to get better at it.
    It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job raising your little boy. Good luck on your journey to finding the balance of letting go just enough, and know that you’re not alone!

  5. As i read this my first thought was… this is her only child, must be… I will not lie… I felt the SAME way with my first child… I worried about everything , esp since she was born w medical issues but then I had #2 and still worried a little… sadly not so much about #2 but still #1 and then I had baby #3 and worried about none of them… I think you need more kids 😉 It makes it a lot easier.

  6. I know we can’t help it Alvina, and living in the moment sounds wonderful, but it’s harder to do than I thought. What’s helped me along the way is realizing that worrying or living in fear about things that I cannot change does no one any good. Also, positivity is so much more freeing that any negativity can be and when I do allow myself to live in the moment – I realize life is sweeter than I ever imagined and I want to live that life more often than not. 😀 Biggest thing to remember is you’re not going to be able to make the shift overnight, so give yourself slack as you travel along this new path. Good luck!

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