In Defense of Dads Who Take Long Bathroom Breaks

It is true…what they say about dads.

I have proof that even the best fathers are yet to be as selfless as a mother. You know—us moms? The martyrs? 

Ask any mom of littles, and she probably can’t remember the last time she pooped in peace. But I bet if you ask around, in nine out of ten families dads take 20+ minute bathroom breaks. 

Also…showers. While moms have managed to shampoo and condition like speedsters, (sometimes with an audience), dads have yet to give up their long, warm showers. 

We live in an era where moms are portrayed as self-sacrificing super-humans who have given up time for themselves entirely. We’ve mastered five-minute makeup routines, 15-minute full body workouts, and 30-minute meals. 

But father figures? They’re not giving up alone time just like that. I don’t know what it is, but maybe we could learn a thing or two from them. 

I’m not going to lie, I am sometimes jealous of my husband, and really any of my friends’ husbands. (Yes guys, we talk about you.) I am confident that my husband is not the only man who is first to be ready when it’s time to leave the house to attend a birthday party or other event. This happens not only because women usually take more time fixing their hair, but because we moms are running around the house getting the children ready too, packing snacks, tying shoes, and wrapping the present for the birthday child. 

Another reality is that fathers aren’t drinking their coffee cold. My husband likes to enjoy a freshly brewed cup of coffee in the mornings, sitting by the window while checking his emails. I would also like to do that. But reheating my coffee throughout the day has become a custom around my house. “I don’t understand how you can drink your coffee like that,” my husband dared to say as I took a sip from the coffee I had poured two hours ago. You know it’s not because I like it.

I have hundreds of stories like these. Noise-canceling headphones with loud music while he’s alone with kids. Enjoying his hot meal while Mom is still cutting up the kids’ food in small pieces. Not hearing the baby crying at night, etc., etc., etc. 

But, in their defense, we all do things. And fathers, oh boy, they DO things!

They’re best friends, playmates, and fixers of all things. Some dads are great cooks, and others are great at ordering pizza. Fathers can be the best coaches, science tutors, and LEGO creators. They can be the best photographers and plan great adventures for the weekend. Some have the best dance moves and others know the best movies. They’re the biggest supporters and are always making sure everyone is okay. They wake up early in the morning and get the coffee ready, even if it gets cold. 

I say we give credit to those who deserve it and put fathers up there on the pedestal along with mothers. An involved father can be just as all-giving as a selfless mother, even if their sacrifice is not as obvious. 

So what if every now and then they want to hide in the bathroom for 20 minutes to get a break from the chaos? They deserve it. 

Born and raised in Mexico just two hours away from San Antonio, Alejandra moved to the Alamo City in 2010 with her husband. A year later they welcomed their first son, and in 2013 she officially became a mom of two boys. She has a degree in Communications from the University of Monterrey, and has worked as a writer and editor for both print and web media. A classically trained pianist, Alejandra currently freelances as a copy writer and translator. Favorite Restaurant: Palenque Grill Favorite Landmark: The Historic Pearl Favorite San Antonio Tradition: Fiesta de las Luminarias