I Don’t Care What My Kids Want for Christmas

Gift giving is my favorite! I love finding things that I think my loved ones will enjoy. To me, it’s almost an art form: how can I, without the intended receiver’s blatant request, find something that blesses, surprises, and delights them? 

 

So you would think I’m one of those who starts Christmas shopping in August. But I am NOT. To be honest, I start dreading the gifting season the moment Halloween is over. It took me a few years to realize it, but I am 100% opposed to Christmas lists. My kids have never written one. In fact, we don’t even do Santa Claus because all he symbolizes for people now is a bringer of gifts. I guess what I’m openly confessing to you is that I am the Grinch. I may not have termites in my smile, but ask my kids what they want for Christmas in front of me and my head will whip around and reveal a death glare that will melt anyone’s face off.

 

I don’t care what my kids want for Christmas. Truly. They don’t know what they want for Christmas—not in the grand sense—so it is completely irrelevant. They do not look through catalogs, watch YouTube toy videos, or ever see commercials to even know what’s out there. And I like it that way. In fact, if the words “I want” or “I wish I had” leave their mouths, they are corrected. This also applies to simple phrases not related to gifting, like “I wish I could do that” or “I want some candy.” Those words are very self-centered, and answering them by giving in implies that they can just say “I want” or “I wish” and magically get whatever it is they desire. Instead, they ask, “Can I please have ___?” It turns into less of a demand and more of a humble request. Humility and imagination seem more within the bounds of Christmas spirit to me than wish lists and Santas. I don’t think the magic and joy of Christmas rest on what they do or don’t open on Christmas morning. I would much rather celebrate their individual birthdays with a big gift—that day is, after all, a day devoted solely to them—and keep Christmas simple and centered on others. My kids do know about Santa Claus and have heard all of the little stories and seen movies about him, but they also know the history of Santa Claus and who St. Nicholas was. They understand that he was humble and cared for those who truly needed things. To me, that is much more valuable than fostering an idea of a magical man who answers wishes. 

 

Because we don’t do lists and there are no expectations set, my kids could open a new pack of Crayons on Christmas morning and their faces would light up as if they had discovered a Hatchimal. And a definite plus side to this is that I don’t have the pressure of making little consumer dreams come true. It makes the holiday season that much simpler.

 

I also think about those kids whose parents can’t buy more than a small toy and some coloring books. How must those kids feel when they see that Santa brought their classmate an iPad or huge LEGO set or whatever it is kids want for Christmas these days? My desire for my kids to demonstrate relatability and empathy are also motivating forces behind my decision.

 

Of course, my choice is based on our individual family culture. It may not fit into everyone’s paradigm. Our house is always open (literally), our table is set for anyone who wants to sit at it, and we intentionally do things to make our kids aware of people from a variety of backgrounds. For us, fostering a heart for other people starts with little things, and Christmas lists and consumerism work against that. The concept of “I want” does not work in our family culture. There is no room for it, and my kids won’t miss it if they are busy looking outside of themselves.

 

From the outside, I look like a Grinch. But the reality is, I’m trying to nurture an environment and culture that doesn’t fit the current norm. I will gladly play the role of the Grinch to ensure that my children focus on others before themselves, because to me, that feels more important than Santa Claus and extends far beyond the holidays.