Dear Disney {A Letter Concerning Frozen}

Dear Disney,cover frozen

{begin standing slow clap}

I applaud you.  You’ve really done it this time.  You’ve created a MONSTER in my house.  And when I say monster, I mean a 3 1/2-year-old, song belting, costume wearing, Frozen OBSESSED child.  Nicely played, Disney, nicely played.

It started back in December.  “Oh,” I thought, “Disney has a new movie. That’s cute.” My two and three-year old children had yet to see a movie in the theater so I thought we’d give it a try.  We got through the holidays and I’d started hearing some good things about this Disney movie.  Good story line, not your typical princess movie, good message to it.  Oh, alright.  I’ll do it.  One cold January afternoon, we innocently stepped into a movie theater, not realizing that my everyday life (at least in the immediate future, that is), would be forever changed.

And so began my life with Anna and Elsa….my day-by-day, can’t escape them, all we talk about, dress up as, pretend to be, life with Anna and Elsa.  Don’t get me wrong. Personally, I loved the movie. I left giving you a high-five Disney. And Olaf? Brilliant play. Who doesn’t like a naive, lovable character? Perfect amount of humor for the parents to enjoy. Upon our second viewing in which my husband joined us since he couldn’t figure out what the heck we were talking about, he might or might not have looked over at me when Hans revealed his true character with sincere disappointment in his eyes and mouthed the word, “No!!!!”

Can you guess what our in-flight entertainment was for Spring Break?
Can you guess what our in-flight entertainment was for Spring Break?

I left my movie experience thinking those were some pretty catchy tunes. At the time, I didn’t realize that I would come to know the words to these songs….Each. And. Every. Word. To. Every. Song. On. The. Soundtrack. Sure, my fault for downloading the soundtrack to iTunes but how was I to know that seventeen times a day, I would hear, “I want Frozen, Mommy. Mommy, can we listen to Frozen? Hey Mom, can you put on Frozen? Mommy, can you hear me? I want Frozen. MOMMY!!!! I WANT FROZEN!!!!!”

It’s like she’s possessed.

Sorry little girl, no Elsa but be grateful your mom snatched up the last Anna dress at Target
Sorry little girl, no Elsa but be grateful your mom snatched up the last Anna dress at Target

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
Not a footprint to be seen. 
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the queen.

And a three and a half-year old that can’t remember her own middle name knows every word to Do You Want to Build a Snowman, For The First Time in Forever, Love Is an Open Door, Let It Go, Reindeer Are Better Than People, In Summer, For the First Time In Forever (Reprise), Fixer Upper and the Demi Lovato version of Let It Go – I reiterate, every word. Not only that, but she belts them out at full lung capacity.

So Disney, I just need to know, what’s the trick?  I’m referring to this jedi mind trick you’ve played on the brains of 2-10 year old children all over the country.  Have you hired neurological specialists that have figured out the formula to psychologically force a child eat, sleep, breathe and dream Frozen?  But it’s not just the kids you’ve duped this time. I find myself singing the lyrics in my head almost every second of every day. I’ve begun answering people with “NOPE!” or “What’s the issue, dear?”  Seriously, this is becoming an issue, dear.

And I know I’m not the only one. Who was the marketing genius that decided to limit the sales of the Anna and Elsa dresses?  I seriously hope you’ve given that person a raise. Have you taken a gander at eBay recently?  I’m sure you have.  And I’m sure you are basking in the glory of Elsa dresses going for $500. That’s ridiculous.  But it’s even worse is that some poor sucker who can’t stand to break their daughter’s heart on her birthday will actually pay $500 for a flimsy piece of polyester that’s sure to fall apart in 3 months. And you know this, don’t you Disney?  You sly beast you.

Crazy, crazy, crazy
Crazy, crazy, crazy

Furthermore, “The cold never bothered me anyway”?  Hmmm.  My child that can’t stand temperatures below 75 now believes that she is immune to frosty temperatures.  Perfect for this unseasonably cold winter we’ve had and her refusal to wear a jacket, “because I’m Elsa, Mommy!” which leaves her shivering and crying within minutes of stepping out the door.

Perhaps this is just my first real experience with a child and a Disney movie.  Did mothers in the late 80’s and early 90’s have this experience with Ariel and Belle?  Was my grandmother plotting the demise of the mastermind who created Cinderella in the 50’s?  And what about your minions that started it all back in 1937 with Snow White?  No, somehow, I think Anna & Elsa are different.

I know, I know, one day I’ll look back and think it was a cute stage. But for now, I think my only choice is to Let It Go, embrace my inner Idina Menzel and crank up the volume.

Most sincerely yours,

Elsa’s Mom….I mean, Brooke

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Brooke graduated high school from right here in San Antonio. After twelve years of living everywhere from Colorado to Greece, London to Atlanta, she and her husband have made San Antonio home and have become parents to their daughter and son. Brooke loves finding undiscovered activities around the city and dragging her kids along! She is a runner, an amateur cook that loves trying out San Antonio’s growing culinary scene and is actively involved in non-profit organizations in San Antonio.

8 COMMENTS

  1. My nieces are the same way with their dresses and dolls. Even the nephews watch the movie when its on (like they have much of a choice – once it’s on it’s not getting turned off). Disney hit a grand slam times ten on this one.

  2. As a grandmother who couldnt help but jump into the Frozen mania by being sure each grandchild had as much Frozen paraphenalia as I could get my hands on, I laughed and laughed as a friend read Brooke’s column out loud to a car full of us grandmothers headed on an outing. Well said, Brooke, well said.

  3. My MIL started it when she mailed my girls Anna & Elsa dresses for Valentine’s Day. Five weeks later, it’s all my 5 year old can talk about and WE HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE YET. I did check out the “junior novelization” from the library, so she knows the story. Planning on picking up the DVD this weekend. 🙂

  4. Don’t forget how PERFECTLY executed was the plot to release the movie in the midst of the coldest friggin’ winter we have had in decades!! Frozen, indeed!

  5. Great post. I’ll be laughing all day!

    An evil genius, that Disney – one whose power over children (and the spell that casts over their unsuspecting parents) grows with each passing decade. I think you have a script for the smash Disney musical of 2034: Two unsuspecting parents take their sweet and normal children to a movie theater one rainy afternoon. Over the next 90 minutes, they are secretly bewitched by the movie’s magic spell. Soon, they discover that they can do nothing but sing, dance and wear sparkly costumes with plastic shoes. They forget their own names, start calling their house a castle, and discover that the dog can talk. (At least he’s funny.) The next day, an evil stranger appears at their door, creating chaos until the princess — clomping around in her plastic shoes — finds her true power and breaks the spell. With any luck, that one will be released just in time for Harper to have a daughter of her own.

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