One of my family’s favorite holiday traditions is to watch our favorite Christmas specials, and the 1965 A Charlie Brown Christmas has always been at the top of our must-watch list. I practically know it by heart. I especially love the bit where Sally asks her big brother, Charlie Brown, to write a letter to Santa Claus for her. The little voices of the characters are so sweet. Sally starts dictating her letter, and Charlie Brown scribbles down her words: “Dear Santa Claus, how have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want. Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?”
Charlie Brown is disgusted by the notion of asking for cold hard cash at Christmastime, and he can’t believe his baby sister has fallen prey to the commercialism of the season. But I’ve got to hand it to Sally, because recently Ryan and I started giving our kids cash in lieu of gifts, and we all think it’s pretty awesome. Here’s why…
Last year, I really struggled with picking out a birthday gift for Eleanor, who was 11 at the time. There was nothing that she really wanted—she couldn’t even come up with ideas for gifts for herself. So Ryan and I decided it would be cool to write her a check for a nice little starter sum, and we took her to our bank to open her very own bank account (specifically, it’s a TUTMA Account, which is set up for and owned by her, but Ryan and I, as custodians, have sole control of the account until she turns 21). When friends and family asked what to give her for her birthday, I said, “Oh, just write her a check.” I went on to explain about Eleanor’s new bank account and how cool it would be for her to watch her money grow. And it would give her time to think about and buy something that she really wanted. Along with her check, I gave Eleanor a copy of A Smart Girl’s Guide: Money: How to Make It, Save It and Spend It, which is an American Girl book. It’s loaded with information, practical advice, and cute pictures. I recommend it.
Around the time that school started this year, Eleanor chose a laptop computer as her first big purchase. She thoroughly researched her options on Amazon and showed Ryan and me what she wanted to buy. We approved of her selection and research (pretty amazing!), and I transferred her funds over to my account and made the purchase for her. She was so excited when her computer came! Her big brothers helped her set it up, and she had a real sense of ownership and responsibility for her new computer—more so than she might have if we had just given it to her.
Eleanor recently celebrated her 12th birthday, and once again, we wrote her a check. We even coaxed her grandfather, who lives in Massachusetts and is one of the most thoughtful gift-givers I know, to write her a check, enclosed in a very sweet birthday card. She loved it. Her money has now already grown past where she was when she bought her laptop computer, and she’s already brainstorming what her next big purchase will be. I asked her whether she liked getting money instead of gifts, and she said she did. She said it doesn’t really detract from the surprise of a gift, because by the time you find something you want to buy, it’s still a surprise to you. And she loves watching her money grow and knowing she has that account set up. She enjoys the independence and responsibility of it all.
My twin teenage stepsons, Eric and Grant, also like cash instead of gifts. Grant loves the versatility that money provides. “It’s incredibly variable!” he said. “It can be used when I want to buy something. Coming up with everything I want only at one time of the year means I always forget something and end up waiting, or I can’t fill the bill.” Eric agrees. He appreciates the opportunity to purchase exactly what he wants. Eric also brought up the flip side: “That being said, the personalization of a non-money gift is also nice from time to time.”
Sadie is nine, and we haven’t set up an account for her yet. I asked her what she thought about the prospect of receiving a check in lieu of presents, and she was on board. She said, “It can be very useful if you don’t know what you want; and also you aren’t confined to one thing.” However, she thinks that it is always nice to get a few small presents along with cash. Or maybe a nice dinner. Or maybe a check, some presents, and a nice dinner….
A few years ago, I read something by Glennon Doyle Melton of Momastery fame. She told her kids to choose “something you want, something you need, something to wear, and something to read.” I love the simplicity of this suggestion—it hits all the right chords for me. That idea has lingered with me, and this year all four of my kids are finally old enough for us to try this as the framework for their Christmas lists. We’ll see what they come up with, but you can bet your money that cold, hard cash will probably show up in the “Want” or “Need” column with my kids, and I’m pretty sure Santa will be OK with that.
