A Letter to My Firstborn

Little Man,

It’s hard to believe you’ve already been in our lives for two and a half years. It seems just yesterday we discovered our newlywed world would be changed forever when I first saw those two pink lines emerge. Little did I know just how much you would affect the life we knew. 

Pregnancy with you felt fleeting as I rushed around a second grade classroom, tending to the needs of 23 students to return home nightly with no energy to dedicate to your nursery. Then, almost in a flash, June arrived along with the end of the school year. I turned in my resignation, preparing for a full-time job of “momming” after your arrival, and got busy fitting nine months of nesting into the three weeks I had before your due date. 

You took your time coming into the world, a week after we’d expected, and 16 hours of laboring. Then with a short stint in the NICU; you had us on our toes from the second you took your first breath. With every trip we took upstairs all we could think about was taking you home, knowing it would be tough but having no way to fully prepare for the difficulty of the next few weeks. 

We quickly understood the bags we’d seen under new parents’ eyes and why they had encouraged us to “just lay him down” if ever we got too frustrated (ain’t no frustration like the frustration you feel at 3AM with a perpetually screaming baby). But that phase, like all of the others thus far, was fleeting. 

Many parents before us said to embrace every moment, which we’ve always tried to do, but it’s sure tough to remember in the midst of sleepless nights or toddler tantrums. Nonetheless, if I’ve learned anything these last few years it’s that with each difficult phase the precious moments get sweeter and make each frustration bearable. I’ll never cease to be amazed at how easily I can go through a rollercoaster of emotions with you—angry one second, ready to throw in the towel, then more in love with you than ever before as you squeeze my neck and tell me “I love you, Mommy!”

As I sit here nursing your sister, watching you put together the twelfth puzzle of the morning, I reminisce on the days it was just the two of us. The many days we spent at the park after you graciously chilled in the stroller while I exercised. The days we could quickly hop in the car and head to an afternoon adventure at the zoo or botanical garden. Now it feels like we didn’t have enough time together.

I’m sorrowful for our minimal one-on-one time while your sister needs me more right now. But the moments I do get with you…collecting pine cones at Meme and BobBob’s house, taking trips to Target to pick out your valentines, or even just making time for a little day date to grab an ice cream are especially precious and moments I hope to keep forever. 

You are wild and vivacious. The energy you exert is truly impressive. Your bright personality is just like your daddy’s and makes others feel very loved and special. You have an uncanny way of being very meticulous about the way things are organized, just like me. The amount you change and grow daily is something I’d like to discuss with the Big Man upstairs, because I can see it happening before my eyes. I’m in awe of the way you learn things on a dime or remember things that others wouldn’t think to second guess. I pray your stubborn nature keeps you rooted in faith and good morals, that your love of reading continues to flourish daily, and that your big heart shines through your smile to give others a warm place to land.

I look forward to meeting the man you are to become and have no doubt you’ll achieve miraculous things. Whenever your dreams seem unreachable or a hurdle too big, remember that I am always within arm’s reach, and when all else fails just turn on Leanne Womack and choose to dance. 


Your biggest fan

Gracie is a wife of six years, mom to an almost three year-old boy, a newborn baby girl (2021) and a proud Wheaten Terrier dog mom. She is a New Mexico native that prefers a green lifestyle, but she still keeps a tub of Clorox wipes below the kitchen sink to rid of the “really bad germs”. She first moved to San Antonio to attend Trinity University where she achieved a Bachelors in Sociology and a Masters in Teaching. Gracie is a former Spanish Immersion teacher turned work-at-home mom currently digging into her clean-crafted wine business. While working from home she still channels her inner teacher into finding the next best thing for her son: ways to stimulate him, help him learn, teach him multiple languages, encourage him to be a healthy eater, etc. She loves reading, running and exploring the vivacious city of San Antonio. Favorite Restaurant: Supper Favorite Landmark: San Antonio Mission Reach Favorite San Antonio Tradition: San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo