In many ways, it is my dog who taught me how to be a mother. I’d never had a dog before, and when we first took him home I’ll admit that I was woefully unprepared for the realities of looking after a puppy. The nighttime whining that led to me sleeping on the sofa with him after taking him out in the middle of the night. The potty training and endless carpet cleaning. The play biting, tugging, and chewing… those tiny, razor sharp teeth.
With all of those difficult things also came a wonderful bond, a sense of loyalty to one another, and a heartwarming love. He was beside me throughout my pregnancy, and was waiting for me when we brought our son home from hospital. There was an inevitable phase when his need for attention and affection was overwhelmed by the all-consuming care of a tiny baby, but over time we adjusted to life as a family, with him at the center.
Now my son is 3, their relationship has truly blossomed. The pooch that had been 50% mine, 50% my husband’s, divides his loyalty even further — managing to make all of us feel like he is “our dog.” And as someone who didn’t grow up around the patter of paw pads, I’ve been thinking about all the benefits kids get from the care and love of a pet.
1. A First Friend
When we first brought our tiny bundle home from the hospital, I honestly didn’t know how our dog – who was still a young pup, not even two – would react. The crying must’ve been very jarring, and we think for a while he was scared that this newcomer was hurting his mom. But his initial fear turned to curiosity, and from that curiosity bloomed a deep sense of protection and pride.
It took only a couple of weeks for our pup to become besotted with our son, and some of my favorite pictures are of his furry head nestled on the nursing pillow or him sitting, protective and noble like a sphinx, next to the bassinet. It seems that most of my photos of our son as a tiny baby have a paw, an ear, a snout, or just a brown blur in the background — and I wouldn’t change that for the world. When my son started solids, he always had a happy and willing cheerleader by his high chair, and I’d often hear his giggles as his toes and fingers were gently but efficiently cleaned.
In many ways, owning a pet provides a child with their first friend; a loyal companion from their first days. This is especially true — and perhaps most valuable — for first and only children. Whether you have a young pet who essentially “grows up” with your child — or an older one who shows them the ropes — their relationship is one of the first, and strongest, to be forged. As I didn’t have my first dog til I was 30, I literally can’t imagine what it is like for my son, who has literally never known anything else. To him, our dog has just always been there; a much loved and appreciated member of our family. When we were staying with my family recently, the fact that packages could show up at the door without an alerting “woof” was a confusing but hilarious learning curve for him.
2. Health Benefits
Several studies in the last few years have pointed to the fact that children who live with pets are healthier than those who do not.
The AAP concluded that those who lived with a pet during their first year — especially if that pet was a dog — actually had a stronger immune system than those who didn’t. Daily exposure to dogs may have positively boosted the maturation of their immune system during infancy, which makes sense when you consider that dogs bring with them a certain amount of dirt and dander. In addition, when the kids studied did fall ill, they needed a shorter course of antibiotics compared to the children who did not live with pets — suggesting that their immune systems were able to fight off infection at a faster rate.
Another study found that children who were predisposed to respiratory allergies or asthma (in other words, at least one parent currently suffers from them) are less likely to develop similar issues if a dog lives in the house. Early exposure is key: those with a dog in the first year of life benefited most.
Lastly, there’s a link between the risk of eczema and dog ownership. Children with dog allergies, who did not have dogs in the home, were four times more likely to develop eczema than those who did. Though a growing body of research can only help strengthen the case for having kids and pets from the early days of their lives, it certainly seems that their presence can have a positive physical – and emotional – impact.
3. Increased Emotional Intelligence
As most adults who get a new pet can testify, caring for an animal can be an adjustment, and a challenge — but a huge sense of accomplishment and pride. Similarly, looking after a pet boosts your child’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ) over time.
Caring for another life makes your child more compassionate, thoughtful, and loving. Feeding them, filling and cleaning their water bowls, walking and exercising them are activities that help them step out of themselves and prioritize others. Whether toddlers or teens, kids with pets are more selfless, and have higher levels of self-esteem. Accomplishing the small, often mundane tasks of caring for a pet can help even very young children feel accomplished and competent. And this doesn’t stop at home: a study of children involved in the care of a classroom pet or pets found that “having pets is an invaluable aid for helping children gain pride, caring, and empathy for the needs of others.”
Lastly, the CDC has identified that children with dogs at home had reduced anxiety levels, and a reduced amount of perceived stress — mostly because they had higher levels of oxytocin, the happy hormone. If you’ve ever felt sad or stressed and petted a dog, you’ll be familiar with the almost instant lift in your spirits! Dogs are wonderful companions and great, non-judgemental listeners; and the benefits for neurodivergent kids who can find communication a challenge are even greater. Children with ASD and ADD who had a dog at home showed a decrease in meltdowns, anxiety and aggression; and an increased capacity for trying new things and engaging in social interactions. What’s more, kids with dogs spend more time outside — on average, an extra 11 minutes outside exercising per day, which adds up to 5.5 hours a month, and 66 hours a year. My son loves to be outside and we are very lucky that our cocker spaniel can match his high energy levels. Dogs love running, playing, walking, and swimming — all the things your average preschooler wants to do, too!
4. A Sense of Responsibility
When I asked the ACM Team about the benefits they felt their children were getting from owning a pet, an increased sense of responsibility was high on the list. Even very young children can — and should — get involved with the care and feeding of a pet. We started this sporadically, but my 3-year-old is now almost exclusively responsible for the feeding of our dog (this is mostly of his own making, he’s very jealous if we do manage to feed him!). He understands his routine; we walk him together, and he also knows that his need for exercise and potty breaks are important markers in our day. He adores giving him a treat and calling him his “good dog.
Another member of the ACM team was in two minds about taking in any more pets after their two cats had passed, three years apart. When Ashley’s family ended up with a litter of kittens, her kids promised to help out — and they stepped up, feeding and filling water bowls, and playing with them all summer. She also said that, with their dogs, as soon as her children were old enough to work the sliding door into their yard, getting them to let the dogs in and out was the biggest help. The needs of pretty much all pets are simple, easy to explain, and give tots and teens a sense of responsibility and purpose.
We’ve noticed that assigning age-appropriate tasks — which could look different depending on the age of your children — has really cemented the relationship between our dog and his boy. As they and their relationship grow and evolve, his responsibilities will also change. It’s worth remembering, too, that getting a new pet has to be a decision that the whole family makes together and can agree on. Kids thrive on getting involved in anything as early and as often as possible, and dogs especially benefit from forging loving, trusting relationships from the outset.
5. Love and Loss
As someone who didn’t grow up with a dog, the depth of love and joy my dog has brought to my life has, on some levels, surprised me. I miss him terribly when we have to be away from him, even though I know he’s having fun and lots of treats; and whenever possible we take him with us on trips. He is a huge part of our family and we absolutely adore him, and of course most families feel the same about their pets.
The deep love we feel can make the fact that the lives of our pets are typically much shorter than ours — we will inevitably have to say goodbye and grieve our pets and the wonderful members they have given us. ACM team member Shanti says that her kids have learned empathy from their dogs, especially when they had to make the decision to end their dog’s pain after finding out she was very ill. She actually passed at home surrounded by family on her own terms; an experience that taught them to hold on to the happy times, even in the face of devastating sadness and grief.
The loss of a pet can be incredibly difficult for the whole family, and there is no shielding a child from the loss of a trusted, much-loved companion and friend. And yet, loss is part of life. While the lessons are undoubtedly hard, as our families have shown, they help children be more compassionate, empathetic, and emotionally articulate.
If you’re interested in adding a rescue to your family, read more about the shelters serving the Alamo City here. Whether you’re a cat person, a dog person, or something more exotic, by involving your kids — and giving them the responsibility for and love of a pet — you are providing them with the skills to make them happier, healthier, and more well-rounded.
