What I Want My Sister to Know Before She Gets Married

To my little sister: 

After the pandemic changed all your plans, it seems like we are finally getting closer to your dream day—the day that you will marry the love of your life and start a new family with him. 

You have no idea how proud I am of you, of everything that you have achieved by yourself and with your fiancé. I know that you have faced many obstacles, and I have seen your resiliency after postponing your wedding for more than a year. And in all this time, I have always witnessed a true love between the both of you. 

I’m sure your future husband will take care of you as I wish I could do forever and like I did when we were little… I will always be here for you, and I can be that friend when you want to talk, but you are starting a new chapter and he will walk along with you for the rest of your life. However, I also know that there can be unexpected times, and even though I still have a lot to learn about marriage, I would like to share with you what I have experienced: 

Your husband should always be your friend.

If you can talk about everything and learn to laugh together, you will be able to overcome every obstacle. Being friends in marriage involves listening to one another, communicating how you feel, always looking at the positive things the other person has to offer, and sharing quality time together. 

You are a team.

I have seen you work together many times, including splitting up the chores at home, planning your wedding, and cheering each other up. Never forget that things go better and faster as a team. 

Little problems could become big obstacles.

We have heard this many times, but when you live with someone else, little things like leaving the socks everywhere could start bothering you after a while. In those cases, we must be patient, communicate with each other, and learn to choose our battles.

Be thankful.

We could be tempted to think that our spouse must do everything they do for us, but the truth is that they could also choose not to do it. And what our partners do for us every day is proof of their dedication and love. Besides, it is so nice when someone says THANK YOU, because you feel appreciated. 

Your marriage is the union of two different families.

Each family has different traditions, and you will also create your own. Your in-laws may be different, but remember that they are the ones who raised the man you love. 

Having kids is a blessing, but they change everything.

A baby’s arrival is like a small earthquake that will change the dynamics of your family. You may take some time to adjust, but the love between you will make it easier. 

Make time for one another.

Even if you are busy, even if you have a lot to do at work or feel exhausted, making time for one another will help strengthen your marriage and help you feel that he is there for you emotionally. 

He is not perfect, but you are not perfect either.

I’m your big (and only) sister, so I can tell you things like this. Whenever you see something in him that you don’t like, please remember that nobody is perfect. Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, perfectly imperfect for each other. (Because if everything were as you wished, it would be so boring.) I have a perfectly imperfect sister who makes me really happy. 

Sometimes you will be wrong.

I know I just told you that you are not perfect, but I also need to tell you that there will be times when you are wrong. At that point, we must learn to recognize our mistakes and apologize; saying “I’m sorry” is really important in marriage. 

Praying always helps.

Pray and be thankful for the good and the bad times. Pray to ask God for help when you feel confused. Pray when you have a problem and can’t seem to find a solution. Pray, always pray, because God will put in your heart what you need to know.  

Born and raised in the north part of Mexico, Aidée is a mom of two boys who considers San Antonio a great place to raise kids, even though all her family lives on the other side of the border. She speaks only Español at home and tries to teach her boys about their heritage, learning as well about American traditions and having fun adapting to both cultures. Favorite Restaurant: Palenque Grill Favorite Landmark: Mission San Jose Favorite San Antonio Tradition: Rodeo