San Antonio for the Non-Native, A to Z

I’ll give it to you straight, because I’m a Texan now. I am continuously amazed at this unique city I have come to love and claim as my own after marrying a native. There are many differences from where I grew up, which adds to the excitement of exploring my (new) hometown. Some things stand out more than others, like the food and fun, though this city with a small-town feel embraces everyone with its energy. If you’re considering a move, think no further.

Enjoy this A-to-Z cheat sheet of San Antonio-centric terms, customs, and traditions. Welcome to San Antonio, y’all!

Annual bluebonnet pictures: The wild flowers grow, and next thing you know, people are walking with their baby on the side of the highway to take a photo. Best fields of them are whispered secrets, and photographers have family bluebonnet picture packages.

Big Red and Barbacoa: This fizzy bubble gum-flavored soda is a Big Deal. San Antonians call everything a Coke except for Big Red. Served with barbacoa, it’s the wine and cheese pairing of our town.

Christmas tamales: I married into a serious tamale-making family, which means you will roll the corn on the husk hundreds of times and pack the freezer full just in time to give them out to everyone you love and gorge yourself on Christmas Eve. Tip: Don’t eat the husk!

Donkey Lady Bridge and Fang Baby of Old Pearsall Road: Just ask a native about these gems. These classic scary stories have been passed around enough that most people who graduated high school in SA have investigated and swear there’s definitely something scary going on.

Elote: an ear of corn living its best life. Maybe it’s at a fruteria or raspa place, but when you see it, drench it in all the options: chamoy, cilantro, sal. Don’t be shy.

Fiesta Medals and Fiesta floats: I am still figuring out Fiesta—while showing up for parades and throwing cascarones, mind you—but I do know that medals are collectible and people trade them and wear them on sashes or jackets. Every company or organization and some individuals pay to have medals created to hand out. Elementary schools have parades where each child makes his/her own mini float from a shoe box.

Grocery store: HEB should be a tourist stop. It’s as if Costco and Whole Foods had a baby and dressed it in Amazon. It amazes my family every single time they’re in town. The super stores will also bring you to your 10,000-step goal in one trip around the aisles.

High school football: Friday Night Lights is real and alive. Towns shut down, stadiums look fancy, and the number of fans in the stands makes you wonder whether you’re here for a high school game or college ball. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t miss it.

“Inside the loop” or “outside the loop”: It’s where your directions, ability to foster friendships, and lingo with the locals start. I live “outside the loop”—meaning outside Loop 1604—and therefore more country and super far away from everything, according to my friends “inside the loop.” See also: Under construction.

Jeans: appropriate for formal events, casual events, and weddings. They can be stiff black jeans or have pockets covered in rhinestones, but San Antonians have a good time in whatever we have on. I felt overdressed for the first few years, and now I realize this city is so dang cool we don’t need to try so hard. Casual state of mind.

Kid friendly: I am amazed at how most places here cater to kids. Maybe it’s the general kindness of San Antonians, but it is so rare to get a snarky look when you take your kid anywhere. Nail salons are cool with it, fancy restaurants pass out crayons, and there are a million places to explore like Morgan’s Wonderland, The DoSeum, and the San Antonio Zoo. I’m always relieved to come home after traveling because it feels like we’re all in it together around here, and I don’t have to hide the kids from most of what this city offers.

Los Spurs: Timmy and Manu are kings, and we feel like we are on a first-name basis with our players, Los Spurs have so much of our hearts. If you hear honking downtown it’s because we won a playoff game. Every family member needs an article of Spurs clothing, because workplaces and schools have Spurs attire days. Newborn babies even have jerseys.

Mums: I was always told Texans had big hair, but we like to keep up with the times and have transferred our love of all things bigger and better into these pricey, poofy, glittery fake flowers surrounded by ribbons that kids wear for homecoming. I am mesmerized by the details and dedication people have in crafting these.

NIOSA: short for “Night In Old San Antonio,” this is one of our most popular Fiesta events. You’ll go for the chicken-on-a-stick and Maria’s tortillas, you’ll go in the rain, and you will feel like you’re in a mosh pit, but you will still go annually. Because, NIOSA.

Ojo: You’ll be walking with your baby when all of a sudden, a woman walks up to you and holds the baby’s foot or rubs your baby’s head to prevent “ojo” or evil eye. This happened maybe 25 times before I realized it wasn’t just a red-headed baby thing. Basically, there is a myth that says that babies can get sick or receive bad energy from people who envy them because they are so cute. A quick touch to the child will ward off “mal de ojo.

Pronunciation: We’ve got some crazy pronunciation going on. The Spanish word “Blanco” is pronounced BLANK-o, not Blahn-co as you’d suspect. “Bulverde” is pronounced Bull-VUR-DEE, not Bull-vair-day; “Huebner” has no “hue” and is instead pronounced HEEB-nur; and good luck with Nacogdoches (hint: the g is pretty much silent). Most importantly, though, never say BECKS-ar when referring to Bexar (pronounced BEAR) County, or you’ll hear “Bless your heart.”

Queso: nectar of the Gods. Fights will break out when you ask who has the best queso. I’ve noticed San Antonians dip their tortillas in queso, not just chips. Pairs well with Micheladas.

Rodeo Season: Cowboy Breakfast time! February brings a barnyard whiff to the air. You’ll need boots, the kids will need boots, and throw in some pearl-snap shirts for EVERYONE because there are several rodeo dress-up days at school. Can’t wait until February? Don’t despair! Check out Tejas Rodeo for live rodeo events and family fun lasting the beginning of March through the end of November.

Sleet or snow: San Antonio shuts down. Period. With all the raised roads, the ice gets really dangerous, and no one has snow tires or the knowledge of how to drive in the snow/sleet anyway. Seeing as even a rainy day can double our commute times, I think it’s safe to say San Antonians don’t need to be venturing out behind the wheel in the sleet or snow.

Tacos: not burritos, and for breakfast, not dinner. Typically served with eggs and bacon, potatoes, chorizo, or beans and cheese, or a combination thereof.

Tortillas: We buy them fresh (pick corn or flour—yes, choices!) or even watch them being made as you order a second margarita.

Under construction: For the love of all things inside the loop, this town has traffic. But not when there is sleet or snow! See also: Sleet or snow.

Varmint: Armadillos and road runners are real, not just characters from cartoons and Texas t-shirts. Deer are everywhere. I’ve seen one cross 281 inside the loop! My first visit here, I rolled down the window in awe. Tenth year? I shoo them away from my yard as they ate my grass while the kids call them by name.

Wood: Mesquite, oak, but never pine. Serious smoked meat in these parts. BBQ is an art form, and even drive-thru places are probably the best you’ve ever had if you’re a novice like me.

“Xtreme” weather: It can be 85°F at 9:00 P.M. and you can wake to 42°F temps. Just when you pack up the tanks and shorts, temps will shoot back to 90°F…all within a three-day window.

Young, wild, and free: San Antonio has no shame in its party game. Festivals, holidays, Fiesta, Thirsty Thursdays, First Fridays…we go all out, and most people enjoy participating with enthusiasm. And age ain’t nothing but a number, so go for it! There is always something fun to explore, and many times, it’s free!

Zyrtec, Allegra, and Claritin: OH, MY! First, I noticed all the sinus surgery centers around town. Then I realized people sneeze and cough like a staged flash mob starting in October. This wasn’t alarming to anyone but me. Two years after my arrival, my body joined in the fun and I officially had allergies. Cedar fever is real and mold will make you crazy, but we have plenty of people willing to help. Unless you have ojo. See also: Ojo.

Let’s hear it, San Antonians! What crazy customs, sayings, and traditions did you discover upon moving to this great city?

Danielle
Danielle is a minivan-driving, Rick Ross-listening, wannabe Whole 30-eating mama to three little blessings. Born and raised in Florida, she is a Texan by marriage to Zach, whom she wooed with her passion for college football (go, Gators!). Their oldest is seven and rocking an extra chromosome, while their middle daughter is just extra in all things, like the red glitter tutu she insists on wearing 24/7, and their new baby boy is everything she never knew she always wanted. Danielle recently decided she will be on maternity leave for the next 18 years but continues to enjoy her work as a Speech-Language Pathologist in addition to the SAHM position. She is a passionate advocate for individuals with disabilities and enjoys discussions on chakras, faith, and The Walking Dead.

3 COMMENTS

  1. Once again Danielle excels in her writing of San Antonio customs and things to explore. Well written with humor a true roadmap of what to do while there. A tourists delight along with the locals who already enjoy all the delights of San Antonio. Great articl!

  2. Love this whole post, but the redhead ojo thing really got me! I moved here from rural Iowa when I was ten and I have flaming auburn hair. Over and over, people would come up to me, touch my hair, whisper something in Spanish, which I had yet to learn, and walk away. I was so confused for so many years!!

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