Protecting Children from Pornography

As a mom of 6 young children I’m concerned about the images they see every day. Kids have access to all different kinds of media with tv, computers, and internet enabled mobile devices. Even my 3 year old can get onto YouTube on my phone! For the most part I love using my phone for an impromptu Let It Go sing-along, but if you’ve ever read the comments section of any YouTube video then you know it doesn’t take much to go from completely innocent to completely inappropriate.

When I was a little kid, porn was available behind the counter at the corner store, or behind the (very noisy) curtain at the video store. You had to go out in public and pay for it. So as a young kid I never saw it at school. I was 16 before I heard any of my guy friends talking about magazines. Fast forward to today, and a good friend of mine told me her son had been approached by another child and asked if he wanted to look at pornography on his phone … this boy was 11. Pornography is a 10 billion dollar industry, and it’s not just geared towards dirty old men! The average age that a child first sees pornography is 8. I can’t even wrap my mind around that, because I have a ten year old and an eight year old. Even though we’ve had lots of conversations with our kids, I feel like we may have waited too long.

Society may have conditioned us to say that pornography is no big deal, but the information on what these images do to developing brains is pretty scary. I attended a seminar on how pornography affects families a couple of months ago, and it was one of the scariest hours of my life. At the same time I’m extremely grateful that I’m now better prepared to deal with situations that are probably going to be presenting themselves sooner, rather than later.

What I learned at this seminar is that viewing pornographic images actually changes the wiring in our brains. In children it can reprogram their brains and start a devastating addiction. The access isn’t just easier now, the images are also a lot worse. There are also some people who deliberately try and target children. They’ll take something child related, maybe a favorite cartoon, and change the name by a letter, hoping to trick an unsuspecting youngster who might be prone to making a spelling mistake.

So, how are we supposed to help our kids avoid harmful images, and how do we get them to tell us when they see images that are harmful? Here are some tips that will hopefully help out parents:

• Internet filters are great tools for younger children. Services like Net Nanny, Safe Eyes and Cyber Patrol are all great resources.
• Resist the urge to tell children that things are dirty or disgusting, because when they see something they shouldn’t, they may be less likely to confide in you, if they think they’ll be disgusting in your opinion.
• Keep computers in public areas of your home, and have your children turn in devices before they go to bed. Late nights, closed doors, and internet access are not a good combination.
• Talk to your children about what they talk about with their friends. Sometimes it’s easier to have a conversation about a third person. Your kids might be more open to asking you questions if they are for “a friend.” Discussing friends’ actions is also a great way to talk about acceptable behaviors without pointing the finger at your own child.
• Do your research. Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a great book to read with your child. It explains, at an age appropriate level, what pornography is, and it gives a great starting point for kids to deal with situations they may encounter.
• Create a plan with your children for what to do if they come across pornography or if a friend wants to show them pornography. A friend gave me the advice that if someone asks you to take a look at something, but they won’t tell you what it is, it’s probably nothing good. That was an easy thing to explain to my kids.

I wish we didn’t live in a world where this kind of post was necessary, but I think it’s better to be prepared.