Our brains have a lovely way of blocking out the most difficult parts of pregnancy, childbirth, and/or the terrible twos. It’s funny how easy it is to look back at the past with rose-colored glasses.
With six years between my two children, my brain had efficiently blocked out the biggest challenges before Baby #2. I often find myself thinking, I forgot about this part!, as I’ve been changing piles upon piles of poopy diapers and dealing with SO MANY FLUIDS. So whether you’re a first-time mom (congratulations!) or your brain blocked out those memories (probably from the lack of sleep), here is a sampling of my recent experience with the first 20 days postpartum and what you might expect:
Postpartum, Hour One:
I was in total bliss as I crawled into bed with my freshly born baby. Labor was over! I survived! My baby was here! What a joyous feeling. Then he latched, which was also wonderful, because I had been so nervous about breastfeeding. But as he started nursing, holy cramps, Batman! Was I in labor again? My midwife glanced at the pained expression on my face and suggested, “Cramping?”
“Uh, yeah,” I managed through clenched teeth. “What’s happening, and how did I forget about this part?!
“It’s different for every mom,” she explained. “And sometimes they get worse with each kid.”
No kidding! Ibuprofen and the herbal supplement “after birth ease” came to my rescue and helped ease the pain. The good news is, cramps just mean your uterus is shrinking down to its normal size again, and it will pass in a few days.
A little note on breastfeeding: Latching can be painful too, at least at first. Eventually your nipples will toughen up, which doesn’t sound super encouraging, but believe me, it helps. If bleeding and scabbing occur, there may be something wrong with baby’s latch. I highly recommend connecting with San Antonio La Leche League and/or the MILC Group, if you plan on breastfeeding. Be kind to your nipples, and have a good nipple cream and very soft, absorbent breast pads on hand. My favorites are Motherlove Nipple Cream and Bamboobies pads. I also swear by Mother’s Milk Tea to keep your supply up or give it a little boost if needed. The best thing for your supply is self care: as much rest as you can get, plenty of hydration, and good nutrition. Lastly, I highly recommend a breastfeeding pillow like the Boppy or My Breast Friend.
Hour Two:
Time for a shower. This isn’t the time for a long soak in the hot water—that comes soon!—but a quick opportunity to wash away the grime of birth and to begin to feel like a new person. During pregnancy I learned of the importance of letting baby learn your scent, so I opted for an all natural, unscented soap for my quick rinse.
Right after the shower, came the first pee. And yes, we need to talk about peeing. Every time I had to pee during the first three days, I did so while entirely tensed up, gritting my teeth, mumbling curse words, and letting my pee out as slowly as possible. It stings like all get-out, mostly where you have tearing, if any. My BFF in the bathroom was my peri bottle. I let the water flow freely while I peed. I love the one from FridaBaby that offers the perfect angle. My doula made an herbal “tea” that eased the pain, and I used that in my peri bottle the first two days. I also recommend using chilled water in your peri bottle for maximum relief.
Day Two:
Ouch.
During Day One, I was riding the high of whatever hormones your body dumps into your system after giving birth. Well, that and I just couldn’t stop staring at my precious baby. I was on such a high that I couldn’t even doze off after being up all night, and I was mostly unaware of any discomfort. By Day Two, however, I felt like I’d been hit by a truck. This is when a warm sitz bath and some padcicles can work wonders. I also didn’t hesitate to reach for my ibuprofen again, which I took continuously through Day Five.
Otherwise, I didn’t get out of bed for two days. It was heaven. I ate, drank, and slept in bed and stared at my baby for hours on end. A little tip: once you get out of bed and start doing things, it’s hard to crawl back into bed and ask to be waited on hand and foot. My friend suggests not changing out of your pajamas for two weeks. In her wise words, “People don’t expect much of you when you’re in pajamas.” Believe me, this is just a short season, and if you feel stir crazy, just remember it will be over soon. It’s a good idea to have some books that you have been wanting to read on hand, as well as a few movies you will enjoy during your bed rest.
Day Three:
It’s coming back to me just how many diapers and wipes babies go through and how much dirty laundry they produce.
Day Three was also when my milk came in (it usually comes in by Day Five) and my boobies had wet the bed a couple of times. So stock up on laundry detergent and all the diapers and wipes. I swear, my little one was blowing through a diaper every 30 minutes to an hour for the first week at least.
Don’t be afraid to ask friends to throw in a load of laundry if they come by to check on you! You’re going to need some helping hands to stay on top of the laundry pile.
When your milk comes in, you will quickly discover that your boobs can come in many sizes. At this point, it’s worth investing in some quality—or at
least cozy—nursing bras. You can head to one of my favorite local businesses, Go Baby Go, for a nursing bra fitting. For overnight, I skipped the cute breast pads and just stuffed my bra with washcloths. I also busted out my booby ice packs, and while I won’t use them often, they are worth it for the occasions that they’re really needed.
Also, this is the day I shed my mesh underwear and transitioned to granny panties. Yay, me! A shred of the woman I used to be is returning.
Day Four:
So many fluids.
Look, I’m at a point in my life where showering is simultaneously a daily necessity and a total luxury. I wake up sweaty, covered in leaked milk, and having bled all night, and all I can think about is marinating in a hot shower. The problem is, bleeding doesn’t stop for the shower and neither do lactating boobs. I don’t have many tips except to enjoy your daily shower as much as you can and grab a towel, bra, and pad as quickly as possible when you hop out.
Day Five:
I hear over and over again to “keep [my] expectations low,” and this probably goes for the entire first year, if not all of parenting. So as I started to emerge from my bedroom, I put in place small goals for myself and tried not to get upset if I couldn’t meet them. The first day I did this, my goal was just to make some doctor’s appointments over the phone, bathe the baby, and have a nice, hot shower for myself. In addition to breastfeeding and trying to keep up my own nutrition and hydration, that was literally all I accomplished that day. The next day, I added doing a load of laundry to my list. By the third week, I added go for a walk around the neighborhood, prep some meals, and do housework, etc. Remember to listen to your body (and your healthcare provider) and take it little by little.
Day Six:
Prior to this I had forgotten about it, but on Day Six I busted out my abdominal wrap that I used to use for lifting weights at the gym. To be clear, this isn’t a contraption to shrink all my organs. The support felt nice, and it helped me to be mindful of my posture. Plus, I think it helped my uterus go back to its rightful place. I threw it on and sent my bestie this very attractive selfie:
Also? I discovered hemorrhoids. I won’t stay here long, because…gross. I thought I got lucky to avoid them during pregnancy because they are so common at that time, but I didn’t make it out of the birth without ’em. Oh, joy. If you’ve got them, you have my sympathies, and I strongly suggest some smooth move tea and some tucks pads. You’re welcome.
Week Two:
At this stage, you bleed and bleed, and then what you gonna do? Bleed some mo’!
Just when you think you may be able to retire your extra long, extra absorbent maxi pads, you feel another gush that makes you wonder whether your organs are falling out of your vagina. To be safe, keep plenty of pads on hand and wear them until you can confidently sit on a white couch without concern. This is usually around six weeks out.
Week Three:
At this point, with both my C-section with my first child and my natural birth with my second, my body had mostly recovered from the trauma of giving birth. But by now the exhaustion from getting up for all those night feedings had fully set in, and my nipples were tired and chapped too. Plus, I was stir crazy. I struggled to find our new normal, while slowly resuming a “full pace.”
My first solo outing with the kids was something simple, to a place I could leave anytime I needed to, and with people who would help or support me. My second outing, I took a trip to the grocery store with my kids and then headed home. As you find your new normal, remember to go easy on yourself. Baby steps!
And whenever you venture out for the first time, don’t forget your diaper bag! Here is my list of essential items to pack in the diaper bag before those first few postpartum outings:
- plenty of diapers
- wipes
- a changing pad
- extra pads for myself
- two outfits for baby
- a burp cloth
- a swaddle blanket
- a pacifier and bottles if baby takes them
- hand sanitizer
- an extra shirt for myself—whether your breasts leak or baby leaks on you, you may find yourself in a position to need this!
In a perfect world, we would all have spouses who could stay home with us for the first six months of baby’s life, along with a chef and a maid. But the world isn’t perfect, is it? However, the following tips will make your postpartum life a lot easier:
- Have a few meals ready to go in the pantry and freezer.
- Set up a meal train so friends and family members can bring dinner to you.
- Schedule visits/ask friends to come and check on you once your partner has returned to work.
- Use a grocery delivery service. My favorite is Shipt. I don’t know what I would have done without this service during pregnancy and early postpartum days.
- Splurge on a cleaning service. I was actually bummed out when I realized my vacuum was too heavy for me to push the first few weeks. Sitting in bed watching my house get dirty just added to my stress. Line up somebody to come clean your house when baby is a week or two old.
- Book a massage. You have earned it.
- Plan quick and easy first outings, with help if possible.
- Indulge in some simple self care: a soak in the tub, a delicious and nutritious meal, or a comfortable new outfit.
Whatever your postpartum brings, I hope that even in the midst of your biggest challenges, hearing those baby coos and seeing those sleepy newborn smiles, will make it all so, so, worth it. Smoother, more restful days lie ahead. You’ve got this, mama!
