Milestone Monster: A Cautionary Letter for New Moms

Dear First Time Moms,

There’s something happening, and it’s beginning to be a real problem. Here’s the trouble, my tired friends – magazines, baby books, that $5 app that I did love but that hinted at my maternal deficiencies, or perhaps even your own well-documented baby book allude to the idea that we should know the exact moment that our child “masters” a milestone. I’m convinced this whole Exact Moment Milestone Achievement Monster is an evil force whose intention is to bewilder and belittle you as a mom.

Why is it that nobody told me this when I was a new mom? It’s like that sad little Emperor and his (lack of) new clothes – everyone is thinking and seeing the same thing, yet nobody steps up and calls a spade a spade. The truth is: half the time I didn’t even know if my children had actually had their “FIRST” anything.

There, I’ve said it. Whew, that’s a relief.

First time to crawl? Like, you mean I should know the exact moment? You’ve got to be kidding me. My youngest, who didn’t talk until two but who walked at nine months was making backward or forward movement at a crazy young age, but what exactly constitutes “first time to crawl”?

First step? Was it that time she was holding on to the coffee table and lurched forward? I could’ve sworn she stepped forward, then… Right? Did anyone else see that? Maybe not.

Why is it that the general rumor of a milestone is made to seem so clear-cut?

I’m suggesting we stage a coup, moms. An uprising that says it’s okay to not know the day, much less have a picture of it. It’s okay to guesstimate, because the truth is, First-Timers, you’re going to forget anyways. Bring on 14 loads of clothes a day and peer pressure to make your own organic baby food with a machine that requires a doctorate and you’ll understand why none of your friends seem to remember The Moment their child rolled-over or stood up.

Let’s join hands, Moms, look that Milestone Monster square in the eye and say it with pride: I love my child more than life itself, and by golly, I don’t know when he/she First sat-up, and I’m OKAY with that!

Good job, Mama, now go get some sleep. And don’t worry – you’re doing fine. Just fine.



A Mama Who’s Been There


My Kind of Milestones:

My Oldest... Known in the Blog World as "CG"
My Oldest… Known in the Blog World as “CG”
My Second... Known in the Blog World as "Bear"
My Second… Known in the Blog World as “Bear”
Although not a native Texan, Maggie has enjoyed getting to know the city of San Antonio with her husband, a native to San Antonio. If she were a bumper sticker type of person (which she vehemently is not) she might have one of those “I didn’t grow up in Texas, but I got here as soon a I could” stickers. Maggie enjoys staying home with her children and loves the daily calamity that is raising her son (born 2011) and daughter (born 2009) in Boerne. She would always chose outdoor activities over indoor, sweatpants over dresses, crafting over TV, and cupcakes over… anything. It feels like her life has been full of “learning experiences”, and Maggie loves to share about having a micro-preemie in the NICU, her experiences as an adoptee and a heart patient, and about her family’s experiences with adopting a child on her blog Mondays with Maggie. Life is an adventure and she’s thankful to have the perfect amount of OCD and ADHD to keep up (most days).


  1. So true! Bravo Maggie! We all know that capturing the first time wearing a bow bigger than ones head and first time to stare longingly at a gorilla are far more worthy of a pic. Great post!

  2. I love that picture with the bow. I will say that this phenomenon gets worse with every kid! I used to keep track of these things on a calendar, and now I find myself just writing in dates that sound good! No one needs to know, right?!

  3. Haha, thank you for this, Maggie. So very true and it’s about the love we have for our children, not about their milestones accomplished.

    • Lisa – thanks for your comment 🙂 Just like those growth charts that we’ve hated for so long, it’s all about the LOVE, not what everyone else is (or isn’t) doing, right?!

  4. We create enough Mom guilt as it is, without feeling all of the external pressure. Thanks for this 🙂

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